the truth or dare EXTRAVAGANZA
by The Golden City
Summary: Yeah. We've all seen it before, but join in for dangerous dares, terrific truths and the most horrificly unorganized hosts around! This is... THE TRUTH OR DARE EXTRAVAGANZA!
1. Chapter 1

**Yeah. It's been done. Over-used. But everybody has one and I want a go! I promise though that this one will be different to all the rest…**

_**O.C's/Hosts**_

_**Lark: **__A dark brown tabby she-cat with white paws and white streaks on her face. Amber-red eyes._

_**Nitro: **__A light grey tom with lighter spots, under-belly, chin and stripe on his spine. Bright green eyes and a green cast on his right arm._

_**Flare: **__A blue-grey dappled she cat with black legs, tail-tip, ear tips, muzzle, chest, underbelly and rings around her yellow eyes._

_**Rowan: **__A reddish-brown tom with brown streaks on his shoulders, face and tail. Clear dark blue eyes_

"It was a dark and stormy night…"

"No it wasn't, it was a moderately sunny Tuesday morning!"

"Hey, hey… Do you have the cool Narrating hat? No. So shut your muzzle and let me finish."

"It's a fedora. And I'm just saying that if you are going to narrate this you should at least do it accurately."

The lights came on the two bickering cats, causing them to cringe under the sudden change. A dark brown tabby she-cat walked in and cuffed them both over the head, a scowl on her face. "Seriously? This was supposed to be some sort of _dramatic _opening and all you two do is bicker and ruin it!" She shouted.

The reddish-brown tom snorted and pulled the hat down over his eyes again. "I was doing my part. Nitro was the one who stuffed it up."

The grey spotted tom stared at him incredulously. "You weren't even saying the right lines Rowan!" He pressed.

The she-cat put her paws in the air. "I don't need to hear this." She growled, shooting them meaningful glares. "Perhaps we should just try another opening."

It was then a Black and blue-grey cat joined them as well. "Aliens! We should use aliens, and they could be all like 'Pew, pew, pew' and Nitro can die and be all like 'AVENGE ME!' and stuff!" She cheered, waving her paws enthusiastically and grinning wildly.

Rowan tossed his hat aside. "I call dibs the hero!" He shouted, briefly pulling out a mirror and consulting his appearance. "Aren't you looking fine today?" He murmured to his reflection, stopping when the She-cat slapped him over the head again.

"Cut it out fuzz-ball. And no Flare we are not using aliens in the opening. It's a truth and dare, not some random sci-fi flick from the 70's." She stated.

Flare went to say something else when a loud ringing noise interrupted them. All four froze and locked eyes on the door just across from them.

"The phone is ringing." The dark tabby breathed.

Nitro nodded. "Yeah. It is." He replied, voice also soft.

"THE PHONE IS ACTUALLY RINGING! WE HAVE A DARE!" Flare screamed pelting towards the door and karate kicking it open into the small office. Rowan threw himself at the handset and sailed over the desk crashing into the wall. Flare leapt on top of Nitro and barrelled him out of the way, claws flashing.

"I'm answering it!" She Screeched.

"OK!" he wailed back, shielding his face.

Flare started to wrestle him. "YOU LIE, THE LEPRECHAUN TOLD ME!"

Lark raised an eye brow and walked calmly over to the phone and picked it up. "Fallingshadow962's T and D, Lark speaking." She meowed pleasantly over the clamour of hissing fighting cats that still hadn't realised the phone had been answered and that there was no point in tearing each others throats out over it.

She nodded, jotting down a few notes on the paper in front of her. "Yes, you can dare anyone from the show, Aha, anybody."

Rowan let out a fierce battle cry and jumped on Nitro who sprang away with a red face.

He lost concentration for a moment, placing one paw on his hip and furrowing his eye-brows. "Why are you blushin-" He was cut off as Flare tackled him to the ground. "THE FUR! DON'T TOUCH THE FUR!" He howled savagely.

Meanwhile Lark continued with her phone call. "Of course you can dare the hosts. Nitro, Rowan, Flare and I are up for anything." She paused. "Well Flare and me are." She mused.

"I'M ANSWERING THE PHONE!" Rowan shouted, pulling on the she-cats ears.

Flare spat out Nitro's cast witch she had been chewing on violently. "THIS IS FOR MORE THAN A PHONE CALL!" she declared, puffing her chest out and turning on the two toms. "THIS IS A FIGHT FOR HONOUR!" and brandishing an invisible sword charged at them again.

Lark shot her head up. "Hey, No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! We are NOT doing M rated dares. Keep it T or PG please." She groaned into the phone, ducking as Nitro was flung over her head.

"If it makes a difference I really don't want to answer the phone!" Nitro begged, clutching his shredded cast to his chest as his fellow hosts approached.

Rowan's dark blue eyes glittered dangerously. "Don't you lie to me, I hate- GET HER!" He suddenly screamed, changing tact and hurling himself at Flare. Nitro blinked stupidly before joining in the violet assault.

"No marriage dares. Marriage is too final, and I really can't be bothered when it comes to all the paperwork for a divorce." The tabby sighed into the phone, now rubbing her temples as she slumped into the chair just as Flare jumped on the table before leaping off again, sending papers flying.

"Come and get me pretty boy!" She howled from the lamp shade where she was swinging.

Nitro was gasping for breath when he was shoved to the ground. Rowan then used him as a step-ladder so he could grab the she-cats legs and grip on tightly. She thrashed wildly and the added weight pulled the light from the roof, sending the room into pitch darkness.

A loud moan vaulted into the darkness. "I think I broke my other arm!" Nitro wailed as the other two stood from where they had landed on him.

"Yeah. Yeah, we do allow O.C's, but only for small moments of time. Not like a whole episode or something you know? Just for a dare or something. Plus we don't pay for shipping and handling of original characters, that's on them." Lark explained to the person on the other end of the line.

"AH! THAT'S MY TAIL" Nitro shouted.

The reddish-brown tom giggled nervously. "Sorry bro. thought it was Flares."

Lark gasped. "Of course we do slash! Skans, Pripper anything! We take all pairings." She dropped her voice and clutched the phone in both paws until it started to buckle. "KICO." She whisper/screamed.

"Stop punching me, I have to stay beautiful!" Rowan moaned as Flare continued to batter him with her fists.

Nitro staggered to his paws and smacked his head on the desk. "Ow, Ah, hold on… ARGHHH!" He yelled, barrelling at where he thought the she-cat was, only to run face first into the wall.

Rowan hissed and swiped at the she-cat, slipping out of her grasp and scuttling away clutching his face. "Remind me when we ever play paint-ball. I DO NOT WANT YOU ON MY SIDE!" He shouted at Nitro.

She drummed her claws on the table. "Special things… Special things, Oh! I know, on this T and D show, we can turn the characters human. Yep. Human, it helps with things like kissing dares or if we just need them to pop down the grocery store to pick up milk." Lark exclaimed, standing and arching her back to stretch. "Yeah, it's been a pleasure, just hold on a minute." She pulled the phone away and clicked on the flashlight, shining it on where the three bruised, battered and bleeding cats were now chewing on each other's limbs and screeching. "DO YOU MIND I AM TRYING TO USE THE PHONE!"

This shut them up instantly and their eyes all turned to where she was standing, staring down on them with a look that could kill.

"You answered the phone?" Flare asked, voice small.

Lark rolled her eyes. "No duh." She put up a paw; cutting of whatever Rowan wanted to say and went back the phone. "Sorry about that. Yes. Ah huh. Okay. You're welcome. call again sometime." Hanging up she turned back to the bleeding Blue-eyed tom. "You were going to say."

Rowan paused. "Ah, hold on… give me a minute, I know I can remember it… Oh yeah. I'M THE PRETTY ONE, I SHOULD ANSWER THE PHONE!"

Lark laughed. "Diva much?"

It was then the lights came on outside the door frame, lighting the room and allowing Lark to turn off her flashlight. The penguins somersaulted into the room.

"What in the name of Davey Jones's locker is going on?" Skipper shouted, standing with hands on his hips and taking in the damage on both the three felines and the room.

Flare blinked her lamp-like yellow eyes, her face drained of her previous maniac rage and now back to the dreamy insanity she was known for. "There was a phone call." She giggled, prodding a large cut on her chest. Nitro slapped it away irritably.

"Stop it." He growled.

Skipper blinked. "A measly phone call caused this much destruction?"

Rowan was fuming. "Yes, because obviously no one heard my presentation on why I, as the handsomest host, should answer the phone!"

Nitro shrugged. "I heard it."

Kowalski raised an eye-brow. "Can I ask what was so important about this Phone-call?"

Lark folded her paws over her chest. "It was our first since starting this T and D. So you know, it was special."

Skipper sighed. "Kowalski, Rico. Sort out the casualties." He directed, glaring up at Lark who was now grinning like it was Christmas morning, watching the tactician and weapons expert heard the three hosts from the room.

"KICO!" She squealed, jumping up and down.

"Kico? What's That Skippah?" Private asked in that, Naïve and British way of his.

Lark instantly closed up, smile turning into a glower. "Classified. To both of you."

Skipper pointed a flipper. "Don't you use that on me feline!"

She yawned. "Yeah. Whatever. I'm hungry; do you guys want some pancakes?"

Priavte smiled. "Oh yes please – Ow." Rubbing the back of his head he turned to Skipper who was glaring daggers at him.

"Don't fall for it private, their probably Poison Pancakes!" He stressed, slamming a fist into his flipper.

Lark breezed past snickering. "Hardly. I still need you for later. The pancakes will be impeccably poison free Skipper, trust me."

"I don't trust you as far as I can throw you feline." He glared.

She rolled her eyes and walked towards the stairwell. "It's a T and D. You would have to be stupid to trust anybody."

**So, you should know the rules. Lark explained them to that stranger on the phone… STRANGER DANGER!**

**Anyway, please review! I would really appreciate it!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Previously on Truth or Dare EXTRAVAGANZA!**_

"_Hey, hey… Do you have the cool Narrating hat? No. So shut your muzzle and let me finish."_

"_Aliens! We should use aliens, and they could be all like 'Pew, pew, pew' and Nitro can die and be all like 'AVENGE ME!' and stuff!"_

"_THE FUR! DON'T TOUCH THE FUR!"_

"_There was a phone call."_

_**AND COMMENCE RANDOMNESS…**_

"I love fried chicken." Lark purred, licking grease off her paws happily.

Nitro looked up from his piece. "Ditto." He mumbled around the lump of meat in his mouth.

Rowan spat out a bone. "Ew." He grumbled, tossing it over his shoulder. "Flare! Hook us the bucket would you?"

"Here it is!" She cheered, pushing the tub of greasy battered chicken across the table towards the eager streaked tom who now looked like he was dancing in his seat.

"Fired chicken is the beeeeeest!" He sang, quickly grabbing a drumstick and proceeding to practically swallow it whole.

Nitro raised an eye-brow. "And this is apparently how flare eats her chicken. She rips it into tiny little pieces like some kind of animal and then eats it."

Lark shrugged, fishing about for a thigh piece. "She is an animal. What do you expect?"

The grey spotted tom made a face. "Some class at least." He whined before taking in the almost guilty but very greasy faces of his fellow hosts and let his shoulders slump. "Never mind." He sighed, taking another dainty bite of his chicken.

The door was flung aside and skipper stalked in, a very annoyed look on his face. "What do you think you're doing!" He shouted.

Lark sat up a little straighter. "Not leading an underground black market scheme that will involve taking thousands of innocent lives if that's what you're thinking."

Nitro choked on his food, coughing and spluttering as Flare hammered on his back. "WHAT?" He screeched after the coughing fit was over.

The dark brown tabby hesitated under the disturbed faces of the others in the room and laughed nervously. "Hey, we aren't here for me… SKIPPER! What do you want?"

The penguin slammed his flippers on the table. "What are you eating?" He demanded.

Flare blinked. "I thought it was chicken." She turned to Lark now looking very panicky. "Is this not chicken?"

Lark raised a paw. "It is chicken." She looked back up at Skipper. "Yeah? So."

Skipper growled. "And what am I?"

Flare nodded her head. "Not a chicken." She purred grinning happily.

Rowan shook his head. "Nothing gets by you does it?"

The commando glared. "I am a _penguin _which is a _bird _like a _chicken _witch you are now ravenously consuming like a pack of starving wolves!" He shouted. "Do you know how much you must have scarred Private!" He paused. "And Hans who is REFUSING TO LET GO OF ME!"

Nitro leaned around the corner of the table to see the puffing gripping onto Skippers ankles with a sly grin on his face. Catching the cats eyes he winked. "Shhhhh." He mouthed.

Not even surprised the cat sat up straight and went back to his chicken, tearing off a strip. "Who wants to bet that he's doing that just to be annoying?"

Rowan smirked. "I'll put two bucks fifty on it baby giraffe."

The black and blue she-cat frowned slightly. "I disagree."

Lark sighed, standing from her chair and stretching. "Okay skipper. If you don't want us to occupy our morning piling on calories and discussing politics we'll have to find something else to do." Suddenly she produced a thick folder and slammed it on the table sending flurries of paper and pictures slipping out over the dark brown wood. Slamming her paws down the cat leaned in close, a smile on her muzzle. "Dares." She grinned.

Skipper groaned and Hans leapt to his feet.

"Nice going Skipper!" Hans spat, stalking from the room with his beak in the air.

Rowan leant back with his arms behind his head. "You own me Flare babe."

He promptly got a bucket of chicken dumped over his head.

"I never actually agreed." Flare purred, smiling happily as she continued to shred her chicken as if she hadn't just shoved a carton of food on someone's face.

Skipper's eyes widened. "No! Please, I'LL DO ANYTHING!" He wailed.

Lark raised and eye-brow and using her foot carefully pushed Skipper out the door. "So now you're complying hmm?" She dropped the pitying smirk, face darkening. "Too late." She snarled and slammed the door. Turning back to her teammates she was smirking, finding Nitro picking batter bits out of Rowans fur and Flare nibbling on her tiny bits of chicken.

"Thank god for phone calls." She grinned, spreading out the sheets of paper and consulting what they said.

**Roughly 13.56374 minutes later…**

"Ok, Ok. So Savio ate Clemson. Who really cared about him anyway?" Rowan sighed.

The silence that followed was deafening, eyes darting around looking for the weirdo who was going to stand up.

"Well, aren't you all very cold." Clemson sniffed, folding his arms over his chest and pointedly looking away.

Maurice stood. "But it's the principal of the thing! He can't just go around eating people all the time!"

Savio snorted, slithering to be face to face with the aye-aye. "Well, I don't go around insulting how you live do I? No! Perhaps you should think before you speak, words can be…" His tongue flickered in and out of his mouth. "Hurtful."

Julian chipped in from where he was standing. "Yeah Maurice! You should not be being so hard on this… Savio."

"Julian! Savio tried to eat you!" Private stressed, face almost pleading for the king to understand.

Julian paused. "Wait, do you mean the furry Savio or the butter Savio?"

Now it was the little penguin's turn to pause. "Well the butter one I suppose."

"MAURICE! BE HARD ON HIM! PUNISH HIM MOST SAVAGLEY!" The 'king' yelled. He opened his mouth to begin another tirade when a dictionary slammed him in the face and sent him to the floor.

Lark stepped from the shadows, rubbing her paws together. "That was a good shot. Now if you don't mind Flare and I are just going to borrow booty-for-brains. Feel free to converse amongst your selves or throw objects at Nitro."

"WHAT!" The spotted tom shrieked, jumping behind Rowan and shivering, peeking over his shoulder slightly.

Rowan scoffed. "Don't worry. I'll protect you, because as a soon to be famous star it is in my requirements to stand up for the weak and the defencele-" A mango sailed by his face and he shrieked even louder than Nitro. "YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!" He declared, now running out the door and down the hallway with Nitro following him and an angry mob ready to smash them.

"Closet!" Nitro announced as they rounded a corner, promptly stuffing the brownish-red tom into the small space and cramming himself in after wards, barely managing to get the door closed in time for the mob of animals to come charging around the corner.

Kowalski was thinking as he ran, like usual. "Why are we even doing this?" He queried.

Rico shrugged, up chucking a chainsaw and spouting random gibberish.

"Well I suppose that's true." Kowalski Noted, rubbing his chin. "but still, what has this small carnivorous feline done to wrong us to the point of a mob mentality?"

"He is going to put us through the most horrific torture imaginable and some not! Don't you want to even the scales before the games begin?" Skipper asked, watching his second in command carefully.

"Judging on available data provided, lets crush that common stray!" He shouted, throwing a flipper up.

"Don't even try it!" Lark snapped from behind them.

Skipper turned with his hands on his hips. "Why? What are you going to do about it feline!" He mocked.

Lark smiled pityingly. "Kowalski, I feel it's time you know what Skipper did that one autumn-"

Skipper cut in. "FINE, fine!" We won't harm your second in command, as long as that never gets out." Skipper hissed stepping forward.

Hans snorted. "Says you. I'm still going to pound that-"

"Diary." Lark meowed

"On second thought, maybe not…"

The she-cat smirked. "I have a blackmail list as long as Savio on all of you. Don't make me tell everyone else about your big personal scandals. Now get back where you came from. Julian is almost ready."

**MEANWHILE…**

"What are they doing! I can't hear anything." Rowan whined, wriggling slightly in the small space.

"GAH!" Do you mind not doing that!"

Rowan laughed. "Nitro? What is wrong with your voice man… You sound so weird."

"I'm… Afraid of confined spaces!" He rushed out in a high squeaky voice. "Now just stop moving, I'm practically lying on top of you and every time you do move it pushes my spine into the next shelf!"

"Oops! Sorry. Hey, why did you never tell me you had claustrophobia?"

"Newly arisen, Oh sweet mother of god please stop moving!"

"Hold on… There. Much better."

"Wait… what have you done?" He stammered.

"I'm just lying on my back, relax. Don't think about the tiny space and how we could be stuck in here for possibly quite a long time with no one knowing where we are."

"Rowan." Nitro whimpered. "Please just _stop_. You really aren't helping right now."

There was a silence in the small shelf.

"Hey! Want to play twenty questions?"

"ROWAN!"

**MEANWHILE…**

"Oh, what are they doing to him? As annoying as he his I still don't want to see him get hurt." Marlene murmured worriedly.

"Don't worry." Private chirped. "I'm sure it's nothing serious."

Suddenly Lark fell through the door laughing, clutching her sides and crying all at once.

Quite a scary combination really.

Flare stepped through the door, and blinked down on the she-cat before pulling out a list and clearing her throat.

"I dare Julian to let Skipper and Maurice boss him around for the whole chapter." She meowed, now tucking the small piece of paper away again. "Julian you can come out now."

"Yeah!" He cried, jumping out of the doorway, brandishing the red feather duster. He was moderately surprised that everybody in the room decided to erupt into laughter at the sight of his get-up. "What?"

Skippers face was completely expressionless. "Where in that dare did it say that he had to wear a maids outfit?" He asked as Kowalski clutched to him desperately cracking up laughing.

Flare opened up the sheet of paper again. "I doesn't. Lark just thought it would be funny."

"And it is." She sighed, sitting up and leaning against the wall. "Thank you very much Toon92."

Maurice raised an eye brow. "So Julian has to do whatever skipper and I say?"

Julian stopped flouncing about for a moment. "Hey, hold on, you never said anything about Maurice and da stumpy penguin being allowed to boss me about! I am da king, if there is to be any bossing it is to be from me!" He demanded, prodding flare in the chest with his feather duster.

Suddenly a small voice piped up. "FEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!"

Julian turned and kicked mort as he rushed up sending him crashing backwards into Clemson.

"eeeeeevil." He muttered, staring up at the blue eyed lemur.

"That's a bit harsh isn't it?" Clemson asked.

"Shut up Clemson." Lark sighed

**MEANWHILE…**

"How about eye-spy?"

"No. I'm not playing a game with you!"

"Fine grouchy." He meowed sounding slightly hurt. "Ugh, do you mind getting your cast out of my face, every time I talk I graze my jaw against it."

"I can't! If I do I'll fall on top of you!"

"Why?"

"Because, I'm only being held up by your hind paws on my abdomen and my paws around your face!"

"I see." Rowan mused. "Hey! Why don't you just lay on me!"

"What?"

"Yeah, That way your cast isn't in my face, I'm not holding you up and it would probably ease your claustrophobia as well!"

"No."

"Come on." He winged. "I'm tired of holding you up!"

"No!"

"You hesitated."

The spotted tom started to whine "Rowan."

"Nitro." He mocked.

"Stop it."

"Stop it."

"I hate you so much."

"I hate you so much."

"ROWAN!"

**Meanwhile…**

"Truth time!" Lark sang. "Private, what is your worst memory with skipper?"

The little penguin hesitated, wringing his flippers together nervously. "Well… Uh… I suppose that time when he hadn't had enough sleep. I mean he did go a little bit bonkers!"

Skipper scowled. "I blame Ring-tail."

"Well I have to be having my bogey down time silly bossy bird." Julian sighed from where he was lounging on a chair with his feet on mort's head, the little lemur looking as happy as my cat when I fall down the stairs.

"I'm a foot rest!" he cheered

Julian exhaled "Mort? What did we say about talking?"

"Uh… Shut up a little?"

"Yes."

Skipper pointed a flipper. "Ring-tail I order you to let me blame you!"

"Wait well what- Urgh. Fine." Julian proclaimed. "But I don't have to be liking it.

Maurice piped up. "And uh… I could use a smoothie!"

Julian Scowled. "Well I would but I am not having smoothing maker!" He shouted.

Flare giggled. "Up the stairs first door on the right. Fruits in the fridge and the blenders on the bench."

Lark suddenly shot her head up. "Wait a minute! Where on earth are Nitro and Rowan?"

Marlene furrowed her brows. "What suddenly made you realize they were missing?"

The dark brown tabby shrugged. "I've personally always though Nitro a bit '_fruity'_ if you know what I mean." She explained adding air quotes around her words.

Clemson put his hands on his hips. "Well I think I know where they are!"

"Shut up Clemson." Lark snapped. "Does anybody know where they are?"

"I do!" Clemson stressed.

"shut UP Clemson!" The she-cat hissed.

Kowalski raised an eye-brow. "I believe they are somewhere on the second floor, possibly in hiding due to the mob we all formed to peruse them."

The cat got to her feet. "Right. Then let's find them shall we?"

Skipper scowled. "No."

Flare was suddenly behind him pushing him along gently. "Yes!" She urged as the Penguin leapt into the air.

"How in the name of Manfredi's purple backpack did you get behind me?" He demanded suspiciously.

The cat blinked her lamp like eyes. "I walked." She smiled, grabbing his flipper and dragging him along. "Come on Skipper!"

"Damn Hippies." He hissed.

**MEANWHILE…**

"Is it bigger than a shoe-box?"

"Yes."

"Does it make things hotter?"

"No."

Is it a juicer?"

"No."

"Blender?"

"Yeah! How'd you know?"

"It's a gift." Nitro laughed. "W- what are you doing?"

"My legs have pins and needles!" Rowan whined again.

"Well would you mind not doing some-sort of backwards press up with me?"

"But it hurts!"

"… Fine." Nitro grumbled.

"Aw, you know you love me!" Rowan purred still bending his legs. When he got no response he began to get a little worried. "Nitro? Are you alright?"

"I-I'm Fine!" He squeaked.

The Brown tom stopped moving and peered worryingly into the darkness. "Is it the claustrophobia?"

"Uh… Yeah, Hey is it just me or is there no air left in here?" The grey tom gasped.

"No. It's fine… Keep calm and they'll find us, just don't freak out on me, 'kay?"

"Yeah. I won-"

The door was flung aside and Marlene was standing there looking down on them with relief on her face. "It's Ok guys! It's ok, they're in here!"

Lark popped up next, a smirk on her face. "Oh sorry, if we're interrupting something we'd be happy to-"

"AIR!" Rowan screamed, slithering out from under Nitro and sucking down oxygen like it was going out of style before running down the corridor screaming something along the lines of 'I can move again!'

Walking away from the Shocked tom under the shelf Lark happened to hear what Maurice and Private were saying.

"Yeah, Nitro's just coming out of the closet." Private told him causing her to stifle a chuckle behind her paw.

"Why was he in the closet in the first place?"

"It's because everyone was so judgemental!"

She started laughing, grinning crazily.

"Why did it take him so long to come out of the closet then?"

It was then she just cracked up, falling on the floor and clutching her sides as Hans started to walk past.

"What is so funny?" He asked.

The she-cat stopped laughing, gasping for breath, and managed to choke out, "Nitro's coming out of the closet." before falling back into hysterics.

He didn't get it.

**MEANWHILE…**

"Eh… What do you think Maurice puts in da smoothies?"

Mort blinked up at him. "Spit and Earwax!" He giggled.

Julian reared away. "Ergh! Mort do not be being so yuck! I am serious!"

The mouse lemur thought for a moment. "Mango!"

Julian snapped his fingers. "Yes!" He shouted fishing about in the fridge and tossing the fruit in. "Then we add uh… Papaya… Guava… What is dis?" He declared, holding up a small green oval shaped fruit with a weird almost crown like top.

Mort puzzled for a moment. "Is it… a Mango?"

Julian put a hand on his hip. "No mort it is not a mango! How could you be possibly thinking that dis is a mango?"

Rowan suddenly darted into the room, singing loudly and off key, pausing when he noticed the fruit Julian was holding. "Oooh! Feijoa!" He cheered snatching the green fruit. Swiftly he sliced it open and snagging a tea-spoon slumped down into a chair and pointed at the blender with it. "By the way, you need to cut the fruit up before you blend it." He noted quickly scooping out some of the feijoa and gulping it down.

"Why?" Julian Pouted. "Shouldn't da smoothie maker be doing dat?"

The tom rolled his eyes, dumping the fruit and plastic spoon in the bin on his way out. "Yeah, but what about the skin and seeds?" He pointed out.

The king hesitated before shoving a butter knife at Mort. "eh… you do it!"

**MEANWHILE…**

"Oh sweet lord!" Lark gasped staggering from the surprisingly purple room and tugging the gas mask off her head, heaving a couple of breaths as Flare patted her back lightly.

"There there… It's hard and it makes me want to RIP HIS EYES FROM THEIR SOCKETS AND RAM THEM DOWN HIS THROAT BEFORE RENDERING HIM LIMB FROM LIMB WITH A BUTTER KNIFE, SCOOPING OUT HIS INNARDS AND LEAVING THEM FOR THE CROWS!" She screamed, eyes growing wild with rage.

Barely pausing Lark yanked her head back and stuffed a couple of pills into her mouth, watching at the she-cats eyes dulled and went back to their usual dreamy state.

Private was watching them horrified and his team stood around him, almost mournfully. "What happened?"

The dark brown she-cat shrugged. "Flare needs pills every hour on the hour or she gets a tad violent. Pass us the bleach?"

Without question Rico up-chucked a container of bleach and handed it to the she-cat who only blinked in response. "Uh, right. Whatever. I need to get that horrific sight from my eyes." She muttered to herself as she took the lid off the bleach and dumped pretty much the whole thing into her eyes.

"Oh my-" Kowalski started only to be cut off by the screaming she-cat.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD THAT BURNS! AH! HOLY COW THAT HURTS, CALL AN AMBULENCE _PLEASE!" _She wailed, paws covering her eyes as she staggered around.

"Kowalski! Analysis. Rico! Medical attention stat!" Skipper demanded.

Lark chuckled as Rico slid up to her, raising en eye-brow and standing up straight. "You seriously thought I would pour bleach into my eyes? I mean I _want _to, but I'm not going to. Anyway!" She announced, stopping Kowalski's frantic explanation of what horrific damage the cat had just (not) caused her eyes and turned to private who now stood quivering. "What you are about to suffer through I wish upon no-one. Yet Ocean3209 has demanded it." The she-cat swallowed. "Go face you're fate soldier." She whimpered as he stepped towards the door Flare was manning.

"Rico, gimmie a hat." Lark whimpered, grabbing the top hat he produced and rested it on her head for a second before taking it off and clutching it to her chest. "I take my hat off to you!"

As Flare pulled the door aside Private chuckled slightly. "What's there to be afraid of? It's just Justin Beiber."

Rico, Lark, Skipper and Flare and recoiled in horror, gasping.

Kowalski blinked. "I fail to see the problem…"

Skipper turned on him. "Fail to see the problem! The problem is that deceptively womanly voice combined with those irritating pop tunes and mindless lyrics are creating a songs designed by the government to get trapped inside your mind turning you into a mindless puppet controlled to do whatever those songs tell you too!" He shouted.

Flare smiled dopily. "I just don't like him very much. I prefer more mellow music."

Rico shook his head. "Nuh-huh. Pu' wok!" He declared, preforming a skid on his knees across the floor. "Aaaaaaaah yeah!"

Lark shrugged. "I'm with Rico." She paused. "I think the only host that likes him is Rowan, and he doesn't like the music as much as the popularity of it. The wannabe." She frowned folding her arms across her chest.

The scientist nodded slightly. "I see… well I might as well do some research on this…" he murmured, already face first into his clip-board.

Private stepped into the room and smiled slightly, in his mind there were worse places to spend a day.

"The poor soul." Flare mumbled as she closed the door before turning back to the penguins as herding them back towards the main room where everyone was waiting anxiously to hear what the mysterious torture Private had been subjected too was.

Lark pulled out her cell, staring at the file of dares in front of her. She smirked happily as the phone was answered.

"Hiya Buck. Listen unless you want everyone to know about the whole 'red squirrel deal' that occurred in '09 you better listen well my friend…"

**32 MINUTES LATER… well I think… It's just a guess really.**

"SHUT UP CLEMSON!" Lark screeched, before turning back to face the stage where currently Buck Rockgut and Skipper… whatever his last name was, were preparing to dance the ballet.

Skipper glared. "This is horribly degrading."

Buck scowled. "You think it's any better for me cup-cake?" He demanded. "Do ya, do ya? Cause I'll tell you who does… THE RED SQUIRREL!"

"He's gone, give it up man!" Skipper announced, quickly glancing down at his fluorescent Tu-tu. "Does this make my but look big?" He questioned.

All armed with a scathing retort Buck opened his beak to reply when the music kicked in. Quickly the pair began to shuffle across the stage sending out limbs at random and waving their arms like bolts of electricity were being sent to them every five seconds.

Well… Skipper was.

Hans looked surprised. "Wow. If I didn't know any better I would say that Buck Rockgut actually did ballet." He muttered.

"Me too." Dr. Blowhole announced only to have the puffin practically jump out of his seat.

"When in the name of Copenhagen did you get here?" He asked, looking the dolphin up and down.

"About 20 minutes ago actually. Surprising is it?" He sniffed looking away.

"Well… yes." Hans decided finally.

Kowalski had sunk down in his seat and was staring up at the stage horrified. Rico looked over and promptly put his flipper over the taller penguins eyes.

The scientist exhaled. "Thank you Rico."

Lark leaned over from behind them a creepy smile on her face. "KIIIIIIIIICO!" She squealed.

Clemson was chuckling madly. "Isn't this-"

"SHUT UP CLEMSON!"

The red lemur glared at the dark brown she-cat and ground his teeth in frustration, hands clenching into fists.

Meanwhile backstage Nitro sighed and stared at the sound and lighting buttons, before looking over at his boysenberry pie.

Buttons. Pie. Buttons. Pie.

"I really shouldn't eat you." He mumbled to the pie.

With its golden flaky pastry top, all hot and steaming the pie seemed to be saying _'eat me! Eat me!'_

The tom shook his head sharply. He _really had _been spending too much time around flare If his food was talking to him now. Inanimate objects like books or knives he could handle, But Sargent Yummiful? No way-

"Sargent Yummiful?" He shouted staring at the pie. "What am I on! That's it. I'm eating you before I get sent to therapy again." He decided, scooping up his fork and turning back to the pie only to find it gone. "What the?"

SPLURT! Or… SPLUNK… What sound does a pie make when it hits a penguin in the face? I really don't know but whatever.

Nitro fell to his knees and crawled out on stage. "Sargent Yummiful, WHY?" He screamed, crouching over Skipper where he was sprawled out on the ground after Buck had nailed him in the face with the tom cats pie.

Maurice looked rather shocked at he stared at the stage before leaning over towards Lark. "Is he talking about Skipper?"

She shook her head. "No. His food is becoming real to him again, talking, developing a personality… Time to send him to a therapist, or the version we can afford witch is Rowan wearing a fake beard suit and asking him constantly about his feelings until he snaps back to normal." She sighed. Standing up and waltzing over to the stage.

"He was too young." She mumbled to Nitro who was now sobbing over the loss of his pie before turning to Buck. "Leave." She hissed. "You've caused enough pain for one day."

Marlene looked a little shocked. "They are kidding us right?"

"I don't think so…" Maurice said doubtfully, sucking down a lumpy, skin and pit filled smoothie as Julian rubbed his shoulders. "That's it! I'm showing you how to make a proper Smoothie Julian!" Maurice Snapped as he fished a mango pit out of his glass

"OK!" Lark shouted, quickly handing skipper a handy towel so he could wipe the remains of Nitro's loved one from his face and addressed him in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear. "Skipper, who on your team, would you rather take on a date. Choose wisely!" She added.

Skipper rolled his eyes. "Um… Private I guess. He's the most feminine, although I don't understand why you asking me thi-"

"Congrats. You are now going on a date with Private. How do you feel?"

"Ripped off." Skipper sighed as he was hauled to his feet and yanked off stage, dragged down the dwarf door steps and into Rowan and Dr. Blowhole who were waiting at the bottom for him. Lark shot the pair a look.

"It's Private, get him, turn them human, let them run around a bit and turn them back later. Got it Pretty boy?"

Rowan lifted the shades he was wearing. "Don't bet on it princess." He scoffed.

Lark pointed at him, smiling prettily. "Bad boy routine?" She asked innocently. "Do It again and I'll rip out your jugular." She hissed, slamming the door again.

"Well well well Skipper!" Blowhole said slowly, pausing to laugh in that nasal way of his. "It looks like you'll be subjected to my-"

"Do a voice over and I swear to god I'll hurt you!" Rowan warned, pointing a paw in his direction.

"My Humanizer." Blowhole grumbled.

Skipper raised an eye-brow. "Really? That's the best name you could think off?"

"It sounds cooler with the voice over, just let me-"

"I mean it! I'll get you and it'll look like a bloody accident!" Rowan shouted, now wearing a cat in the hat style hat.

"Where did you get the hat?" skipper asked.

"Not Important" Rowan replied, taking the hat off and tossing it down the hallway where the sound of shattered glass erupted from shortly afterwards. "Now let's go get your lady love! Or should I say… Lord love…" He snickered.

Skipper glared. "Seriously! It's a dare! It means nothing!"

"Riiiiiiight." Blowhole snorted turning and speeding down the hall with the cat loping easily alongside on all fours and skipper belly sliding to keep up.

Arriving at the right door (after miss haps with weaponries, Flare and Larks bedroom, and a room full of vases they found the right room),Rowan flung it aside to find Private sitting in a bean-bag shaped like Justin Beibers face and reading his biography quite happily despite all the glaring posters of Justine Beaver covering the walls.

"You're going on a date with Skipper!" Rowan announced loudly, grabbing the smaller penguin by the flipper and dragging him from the room quickly, shutting the door quickly behind him to cut off the 43rd time Justin Beiber said never in his song never say never, witch kinda defeats the purpose of the song…

Blowhole snorted. "At least you weren't talking to a vase that time. "

Rowan pulled a face. "At least you weren't talking to a vase that time." He mocked, suddenly snapping back to normal. "It was a very nice vase than you very much and skipper would have been very lucky to take it on a date in my opinion." He snapped.

Private was looking very confused. "I'm sorry? What did I miss?"

The brown tom shrugged. "Not much. Skipper and Rockgut danced the Ballet, Buck killed Sargent Yummiful, the love of Nitro's life and now you and Skipper are going on a date! Exciting isn't it!"

"Uh, just wondering? Why am I dating Skipper?" Private asked as Rowan dragged him into a small room, Blowhole and Skipper following bickering.

"Because Skipper wants to date you." Rowan grinned, "Well out of you Rico and Kowalski anyway."

Blowhole suddenly took charge. "Right Pen-goo-ins, stand on the X and prepare for the-"

"Don't!" Rowan warned, pointing a long hooked claw in the evil genius's direction.

"Huamizers effect." He growled, glaring at the cat.

Quickly the pair lined up on the red X and Rowan spoke up. "Ok. After this you are going to be humans. Here's 75 bucks to go… do whatever it is you do on a date, but be back in this room in an hour and a half. Oh! And when you are human, I will lead you out of here, so just follow the most incredibly handsome thing in the room and you'll be good."

Skipper glared and the tom flipped down his shades. "Hit it Dr. B!" He shouted.

"Don't call me-" The evil scientist started but the end of his sentence dissolved into clicks and squeals to skipper and private as in half and instant they stood as humans.

Private looked at his hands and promptly snapped his fingers. "Wow! How easy would it have been to stop the red squirrel like this!" He laughed.

"Yeah. I guess it would have been." Skipper replied, carefully inspecting his new limbs as well. About half-way though the inspection a loud meow caught the two new human's attention.

"Oh Skippah, look at Rowan!" Private gasped, pointing down at the brownish-red cat that was now looking up at them with its head tilted to the side inquiringly, he looked so cute it was enough to make them forget that what he had just said was probably an insult.

And with that the cat left out the back door, went down a flight of stairs and out the large white door into some alley in down town new York.

"Thanks!" Private chirped as the cat turned and walked away again, leaving the former penguins alone.

"Well." Skipper said slowly. "What do we do now?"

Private hesitated before shrugging and slipping his hand in skippers. "In the movies they always hold hands." He commented, oh so very oblivious to Skippers awkwardness as they slowly walked from the alley into the hustle and bustle of beautiful New York City.

"OI, YOU CUT ME OFF!"

"WELL DON'T BE SUCH A LOUSY DRIVER!"

Eh… Maybe just New York City.

**MEANWHILE…**

"Who likes sport?" Fred asked in his usual dull voice.

"You." Kowalski frowned.

"Me what?"

"Like sport!"

"I like sport?"

"Ugh! No, _DO _you like sport!" He pressed.

"No, not really."

The tactician's eye twitched and he turned to Rico who gave him a look that said. _'what do you want me to do! I can't talk well enough.'_

Taking a deep breath Kowalski turned back to the infuriating Squirrel. "Well what about music?"

"What about it?"

"Do you like it."

"Like what?"

"Music?"

"What music? I don't hear anything."

It was then Rico dove in between Fred and Kowalski, pushing on the angry genius's chest to avoid him possibly tearing out the squirrel's teeth and/or other vital parts to his survival.

"Wow, your friend is really aggressive. Perhaps you should get him some therapy for that." Fred noted. Dully.

"KICO KICO KIIIIIICOOOOO!" Lark Screeched, jumping up and down crazily.

"What does that even _Mean?" _Savio asked, causing Hans to just shrug.

"Ahem… Back to that previous Therapy comment, he can join Nitro then." Lark sighed, rubbing her temples as she attempted to get over her previous attack of fangirlishness. "Fred you can go now. I would say it's been a pleasure… but it hasn't. And I kind of want to eat you now."

Instantly everyone apart from Savio took a giant step backwards away from the She-cat.

"I have to say… I agree." Savio hissed slithering forward slightly only to be stopped by lark.

"Said I want too. Not that I'm going too." She pressed.

"Seriously that wa-"

"SHUT UP CLEMSON!" Lark Screeched angrily. "NO BODY CARES ABOUT YOU!"

Marlene stepped in; using her feminine voice of reason which Lark was apparently missing. "Hey! Hey, calm down… Clemson might have something really valuable to say, you don't know…"

Flare giggled from where she was on the floor, lying with her legs up against the wall and head on the floor. "Is Clemson your favourite lemur Marlene?"

The otter shook her head. "No! I mean, yeah he was cool at first but no, he's not."

The cat rolled onto her stomach, sliding away from the wall and looking up at the other girl innocently. "Then who is?" She asked.

Marlene paused. "Probably Maurice because he is the only slightly sane one." She decided finally.

"And favourite penguin?"

"Private." She said slowly. "Just because he isn't insane or paranoid unlike the other three. Have you noticed that?"

"Nope!" Flare giggled rolling onto her back again and humming tunelessly under her breath as the otter raised an eye-brow.

Kowalski sat up and moaned loudly. "You hear that Rico? Marlene is choosing Private over us as well!"

The psycho frowned and kicked at some imaginary target. "Aww man!"

"KICO!"

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"

Suddenly Rowan appeared, blowhole driving along behind him. The reddish-brown tom was wearing a beret and had a vivid moustache drawn on.

"Where'd you get the hat?" Lark asked, having calmed down slightly from both her anger and inner fangirl breaking out. Let's call it Steve!

"Not important." Rowan replied, skidding on the floor until he was sitting next to Kowalski. "Now, you are feeling Sad, No? So, take your pain… the pain of your heart and turn it into music! Make art from your pain, make wonderful, wonderful art!" He cried in an awful French accent that made actual French people want to strangle him.

"I'll pass…?" Kowalski muttered, slightly confused.

"No. It's a dare. You have too." Nitro muttered from where he was curled up under a blanket.

Rowan dropped the False French act and turned to his friend. "Woah! Man, what happened to you?"

"He killed my pie…" Nitro wailed quietly, blinking his blood-shot eyes.

The tom dead-panned but pulled out and put on the fake beard anyway, also bringing out a clip-board. "So tell me how you feel."

"Angry and sad."

"Why."

"Because Buck Rockgut killed Sargent Yummiful and now I can never bring him back from the dead…"

"Why?"

"Because it's impossible."

"Why."

"Because it is."

"Why…"

Hans spoke up from the other side of the room. "That is the worst excuse for Therapy I have EVER heard!"

Kowalski waved a flipper. "Oh go jump in a hole. What's this about a dare?" He pressed, turning to Lark.

"You have to write and Sing a song all about your feelings for Rico." She smiled. "So get worki-"

She stopped speaking when she saw he was already doing that.

"Oh. Ok then." Steve suddenly took over. "KICO OH MY GOD IT'S KICO I AM GOING TO… RICO! FAVOURITE WEAPON!" She shouted loudly, over powering steve.

Savio looked like he was about to implode.

"Breathe!" Hans Urged. "Just breathe!"

The maniac paused before coughing up a Crowbar and swinging it while laughing psychotically. As he swung it over his head Nitro stole it and turned on Rowan who was backed into a corner with his paws up.

"YOU ARE THE WORST THERAPIST I HAVE EVER HAD!" He screamed, hefting the metal bar over his head and preparing to bring it down.

"IN ALL RESPECT I AM YOUR ONLY THERAPIST AND I'M TO PRETTY TO DIE!" He wailed.

DUN, DUN, 

_**Next time on truth or dare EXTRAVAGANZA!**_

"_OW! STOP HITTING ME WITH FISH HANS!"_

"_I am not going on a date with skipper. I am sorry. I won't do it."_

"_Aw… Skipper… I really think I love you!"_

"_We got stopped at Airport security because SOMEONE had to tackle a security guy!"_

"_I think it would be better if we just stayed friends…"_

"_And we go from Helpful to psychotic in under 3.5, magic…"_

**So…. Yeah.**

**WHO DOSEN'T WANT TO SEE HANS HITTING SOMEONE WITH A FISH XD  
And I know I failed in using all of the dares sent in… But! To ****Crazy Flyer 3000, Crazy-pairing-Girl, Toon92, TheSkySpiritsTalentShow and Ocean3290 ****I swear on my… GREAT GRANDMA'S GRAVE I will use all your dares! All Of 'em.**

**So anyway… Review! Because every time you do, you save an orphans life! Well no. Not really, but you can think that if it will make you review!**

_**I mean no offence to People who like Justin Beiber or French people, your still kool kats! B)**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Previously on Truth or Dare EXTRAVAGANZA!**_

"_I love fried chicken."_

"_GAH!" Do you mind not doing that!"_

"_Where in that dare did it say that he had to wear a maid's outfit?"_

"_Nitro's coming out of the closet."_

"_You seriously thought I would pour bleach into my eyes? I mean I want to, but I'm not going to. Anyway!"_

"_Sargent Yummiful, WHY?!"_

"_It was a very nice vase thank you very much and skipper would have been very lucky to take it on a date in my opinion."_

"_In the movies they always hold hands."_

"_IN ALL RESPECT I AM YOUR ONLY THERAPIST AND I'M TO PRETTY TO DIE!"_

_**Let the spontaneous flash mobbing begin! (JOKES :D)**_

Nitro screwed his blood-shot eyes tightly together and jerked the crowbar down. It was stopped centimetres from Rowans head by a loud frenzied scream.

"What the-" Nitro began only to be tackled backwards by the reddish brown tom cat who was attempting to wrestle the crowbar off him.

Flare was suddenly standing in the doorway, paws clamped over her ears and eyes wild. "CRISTOPHER WALLACE SMITH IS MISSING!" She howled.

Marlene raised an eye-brow. "Um, yeah… I would care so much more If I knew who Christopher what's-his-face was…"

But no one was paying attention to her, more concerned by the fact Flare was now shaking mort violently. "YOU HAVE TO HELP ME FIND HIM."

"I like dis ride!" Mort giggled.

"Calm down!" Lark shouted, slapping her friend swiftly across the face. "we will help you find Chris, just don't hurt the tributes- I mean Guests, I said guests."

Flare brightened visibly and dropped mort on the floor. "Ok."

"Not meaning to get all up in your business or anything, but who is Chris?" Maurice asked.

"Oh be of the shushing Maurice!" Julian cheered. "This is a search and rescue mis-shion! Ok you, brown pretty lady, take da left offensive with the snakey guy. Right offence is to be being da otter and the kambloomy penguin. On defence we have da puffin, Clemmy-"

"Don't ever call me that again-"

"Maurice, mort, other scary kitty lady and dr skohole."

"Dr Blowhole you moron!"

Lark put a hand on her hip and stared blankly at him. "And where in the name of smosh will you be?"

"Hiding." He stated, crouching down. "And hoping dat no one is to be trying to find me."

"Screw that." She snapped, now addressing the mob of confused creatures. "Just split up! And If you see anything yell out!"

**LATER…**

Clemson grimaced as the cat blew her nose again, sobbing loudly into a hanky-chief.

"Do you mind!" He asked, hands on his hips as he glared at the blue and black she-cat.

Her lower lip quivered pathetically, wide yellow eyes wet with impending tears. "I'm sorry." She whimpered. "I'm just so worried about Christopher Wallace Smith… All alone in this big building… He could be in all kinds of danger by now…" She wailed loudly and Hans stuck his head around the corner.

"Good. Have you found this Chris person?" He asked.

"No." Clemson sighed. "This crazy Feline is just driving me up the wall."

Marlene Walked towards them. "Hey- hey guys you'll never guess but- Oh, What's wrong with Flare?"

"She's crazy." Clemosn stated. "that's all you really need to know."

The otter shot him a disapproving look and slung and arm over the cats shaking shouders. "Aww… there there. Clam down, we'll find Christopher… uh… Christopher! Hey, How about you tell us what he looks like, then we could find him so much quicker!" She offered.

Flare sniffled and nodded slowly. "Uh… Ok… He's about This big," She whispered, holding her paws about 5 centimetres apart. "And Orange with scales and a tail and-"

Clemosn cut her off angrily. "HOLD ON! Are we looking for a _GOLDFISH_?!" He screeched. "Goldfish don't even have legs! How the hell could he have gone ANYWHERE?!"

"Jedi mind powers." Hans whispered.

Three faces filled with confusion and shock turned on him.

"Sorry." He muttered. "I just thought that… Ok… Nev- Never mind."

"Yeah, I'm going to pretend, just because we're friends, because we are friends, that you never said that." Clemson stated, patting the puffin on the back heavily.

Marlene looked a little confused before her face brightened and she snapped her fingers. "Flare, can you show us where your fishes bowl is?"

**MEANWHILE…**

"There." The dolphin grimaced. "They are attached to the doors now, anyone leaving or entering this building will change state from human to animal or vice-versa. Are you finished with me now?"

The brown tabby she-cat tipped her head to the side. "Better check it out right?"

Dr blowholes eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by t- WHOA!"

A blinding flash of white light hit both him and Lark as she girl tackled them both through the door and onto the pavement on the other side.

A girl with a high dark brown pony-tail leapt to her feet and quickly scanned over her body to make sure there wasn't an arm growing out of her back or something. She straightened the black dress and adjusted the brown belt around her waist before nudging the moaning guy on the pavement with the toe of her leopard print ankle boot. "Good job Blowhole. I'm not totally screwed. Now get off the ground before I kick you." She stated.

The Scientist looked up, face drawn. The red mechanical eye was still there, but was now framed by long strands of pale silvery blue hair as the rest of the short hair was pulled back. Standing unsteadily the scientist brushed off his buttoned up lab coat and snorted. "Are you happy now feline?" He snarled.

"To be perfectly honest, yeah. Yeah I am." She laughed. "Because now I have a really important question to ask you."

The former dolphin glared. "What now?"

She rubbed her hands together almost menacingly. "Can you build a time-machine?"

**MEANWHILE…**

The four animals stared at the glass bowl blankly.

Clemosn sighed. "Now what?"

The otter shrugged. "I don't know. I was expecting like a wet footprint trail or something to help us follow the fish-napper."

Flare gasped and staggered backwards. "Christopher Wallace Smith has been fishnapped?!"

"Or eaten." Hans suggested.

Flare froze seconds before bursting into tears.

"Nice going Puffin." Clemson glowered. "Now look what you've done."

"I'm sorry for being a realist." Hans defended, leaning against the desk where the fish-bowl was resting. The already wobbly table jerked to the left harshly causing the bowl to move as well. This disturbed the fish lurking in the small castle in the bottom of the bowl and he darted out wild panic.

If fish can have wild panics.

"Oh My Sweet Denmark. The fish was there all along!" Hans cried.

Clemson looked like he was about to explode. "So this whole Dilema was caused because the stupid thing was ASLEEP?!" He Screeched.

It was then he was hit around the back of the head with a rubber chicken, Flare glaring down at him angrily before running forward and tackling Hans into a hug.

"YOU FOUND HIM!" she cried. "YOU'RE A HERO!"

The puffin smirked. "Well I guess. Just a little."

"Ego much." Clemson stated from the floor.

**MEANWHILE…**

"GIVE ME THE BLOODY CROWBAR ROWAN!"

The reddish brown tom laughed hysterically. "Why? SO YOU CAN KILL ME?! OH HELL TO THE NO!"

Nitro growled and leapt at the tom just to have him jump backwards just in time. Sadly he didn't expect the light grey tom to leap again and was knocked to the floor.

The crowbar clattered to the floor about a meter away from the pair as they lay groaning on the hard lino hallway. Nitro sat up slightly and then promptly froze, bright green eyes wide. Rowan growled lightly under his breath and wriggled one of his paws out from under himself, Nitro able to feel the slight breath tickle his whiskers. Their muzzles were only about a centimetre apart, so close that for the first time Nitro noticed the small dot on the other toms nose. Rowan opened his eyes slowly and also froze directly afterwards, dark blue eyes mirroring the shock in Nitro's eyes.

"Uhhh. So?" He chuckled, gaze flickering all over the lanky toms face. "You still want to kill me?"

Nitro wanted to say no, but his mouth seemed to be unresponsive and settled on a head shake instead.

"Well that's good." Neither of them moved.

"Oh Hullo Nitro! Hullo Rowan!"

Rowan yelped and pushed the lighter tom off, bounding to his paws and grinning. "Sup Private… Uhh… Aye-aye Skipper?"

The taller penguin dead-panned. "I'm a military commander. Not a pirate feline." He warned.

"Meh Tomato, Tamato." He said, flopping a paw back and forth before pretty much jumping on the pair. "So?! How was the date?!"

Private blinked and then laughed. "Oh yeah! It was a date wasn't it?"

Skipper rolled his eyes. "We went and got snow-cones at central park."

Rowan's face fell. "Really? That was it? No kissy face in the bushes?"

"You did not just say that." Skipper groaned, flipper slamming into his face. "No. We got snow-cones, discussed training tactics. That. Was. It."

The reddish brown tom rubbed his paws together and smiled, lighting getting dark and creepy. "For now at least."

Private looked about. "What happened to the lights?"

Rowan shrugged. "Beats me. But now that you two are back we can start the dares again!"

"Torture. You mean inhumane torture." Skipper corrected, following the tom down the hallway.

Private started after them when he noticed Nitro sitting slumped against the wall, eyes glazed over and a paw stroking his cast absent-mindedly. "Nitro? Are you okay?" He asked worriedly.

The light grey tom snapped back to reality, but the troubled look remained. "Yeah." He paused. "Hey… Can I talk to you about something?" He asked.

Private grinned. "Sure!"

**MEANWHILE…**

"Where's Blowhole?" Skipper demanded, propping his flippers up on his hips and glaring at the dark brown tabby.

Lark glared back with a look that made plants wither and die. "None of your business." She dismissed him.

Skipper laughed bitterly. "Actually feline you'll discover that it is my business. He is my arch enemy and if we don't know where he is he could be getting into all sorts of evil things!"

Lark yawned. "you done? Because I assure you skipper, He isn't." she paused. "Well maybe. But it's evil for me so it doesn't count. "

Kowalski suddenly sprung up out from under a pile of paper. "I'VE GOT IT!" He shouted.

Lark started to bounce up and down. "The song about Rico?!"

The Scientist stopped. "The First stanza…" he muttered awkwardly.

The tabby visibly deflated. "Really? Well whatever, let me hear it."

The penguin fished about in the endless piles of manuscript for a moment before pulling up a banjo and clearing his throat before he started to strum. "You are a very good friend, not like root canals, and despite the fact that you are sometimes psychotic, I'm still happy to call you a pal!"

There was an awkward silence until Julian broke it. "Woah. That was… terribleosity! My Ears, dey are of de burnyness!"

Kowalski put the banjo down. "Really? It can't have been that bad… can it?"

Lark shook her head like she was just coming out of a day-dream and shuddered slightly. "Actually it can. Plus I really don't think that's what the darer had in mind when they said write a song about your feelings for Rico."

"But I did." He stated, seeming a little confused.

"Dear god you are oblivious." Flare murmured.

Lark turned sharply and started shouting. "SHE'S MAKING SENCE! PILLS! PILLS!"

"I got it!" Rowan shouted, promptly dropping from the rafters and attempting to wrestle with the she-cat.

Savio looked slightly confused. "Wait, what was he doing up on the roof?"

Lark shrugged. "Like hell if I know."

There was an awkward silence until Marlene broke it. "So…. Now what?"

The she-cat jumped about half a mile into the air and smiled sheepishly. "Right, dares… sorry. Zoned out for a moment there…" She pulled a folder out and started rifling through it before pausing on one sheet of paper and pulling it out. "Better now than never." She shrugged.

"Aaaaaaaand surprise attack!" Rowan screeched, jumping on the now startled she cat and plucking the piece of paper from her paws and studying it closely. "Da Faq? What does kjgkb kdgkasdjb dkfg mean?"

"Upside down." Lark grumbled, but it actually came out more like 'mmf mmmf mff' because rowan was standing on the back of her head but whatever.

The tom smiled. "Ooooh. Uh, Skipper who do you like?"

The penguin shot his head up and narrowed his eyes. "Out of who?"

Rowan tilted his head to the side. "Uh? Everyone? It doesn't really specify. Hey! Is that a drawing of Julian chained up to a wall with a bomb for a head and cuts all over him?" He proclaimed, getting a little distracted and looking closer at the corner of the paper.

"Mf Mfff MF!" Lark Shouted. (Get off ME!) Rolling to the side and sending Rowan to the floor and looking up. Kowalski was squinting seriously down at a sheet of blue scrap, thoughts flickering in front of his eyes as the cat bounced up and snatched it out of his hands. Glancing down at it she scowled and pointed a claw at the scientist. "I'll be watching you." She growled.

"Marlene." Skipper stated finally. "I mean, heh, she's a FEMALE for one." He spat, crossing his slippers over his chest.

The otter blinked. "Really? Me?" She scrunched up her nose a little. "Cuz I kind of don't like you to be perfectly honest."

"I like you frowny penguin!" Mort chirped, darting forward to hug Skippers leg.

The penguin smiled and ruffled the lemurs head. "Well thank you sad eyes."

Lark had a pencil between her jaws as she hunted for the final piece of paper. Narrowing her eyes at Rico she elbowed his gut and the scrap of paper erupted from his mouth and he shrugged. "Eh, wadda yah gonnah doo?" He mumbled, smacking her around the back of the head.

Furious she sat up straight and howled. "Your watch, Your soldier, Skipper!"

The leader commando looked over at her, a little confused. "wait, what?"

"Flare." The maniac she-cat pulled out a large silvery spotted fish witch she hurled at the dark brown tabby. "A kahawai fish, nice new Zealand touch." She commented, now hefting the fish at Hans.

"Yum." Rico commented

Lark continued on regardless "Slap skipper with this… 50 times."

Hans glanced at the fish, then back up at Skipper and smirked. "Right. I'm perfectly Ok with this." and then jumped at him, striking him across the face.

"Not yum." Rico stated.

"ONE!" Flare Screamed.

Maurice let out a yell and jumped away from the screaming she-cat. "Are you going to do that for every slap?" He asked.

The she-cat giggled. "Yep. TWO!"

The lemur sighed and walked over to try shut up Julian who was now complaining. Turning around lark beckoned Clemson over. The lemur sighed and walk up, hands on hips.

The she-cat sighed. "Right. I'm sorry for screaming at you. Apparently you actually have fans! Well fan. If you ever meet TheSkySpiritsTalentShow tell her you love her, anyway, I need you to go find Nitro and Private for me. If you succeed, well congrats, your king for an episode. If you fail-"

But she didn't get a chance to finish as the lemur sprinted from the room.

"NINE!"

"OW! STOP HITTING ME WITH FISH HANS!"

**Meanwhile…**

Nitro sighed. "I really wish it was that easy Private."

The small penguin rolled his eyes. "Listen, now you're just being silly. What, honestly, is the worst that can happen?"

The cat sat up and started counting off things. "Uh, they hate me, laugh at me, reject me…" He paused and shuddered. "Does a 'my hidden shame' on me."

Priavte blinked innocently. "what's that?"

Nitro blinked and looked away, blushing deeply. "Uh, you don't need to know…"

"Well I really do believe that you should tell-"

He was cut off by Clemson bursting in. "I found you! Me Clemson- no KING CLEMSON! THAT'S RIGHT BABY! ME! KING! WHOO!" He screamed, bouncing around for a moment before grabbing the pair and dragging them out of the room and down the corridor.

Nitro clutched a paw over his hammering heart and looked over at the small penguin. "Please don't tell anyone!" He gasped.

Private giggled. "My beak is sealed!" He promised.

**MEANWHILE…**

"FORTY NINE!"

Hans looked up. "Really? Is it almost over already?" He asked, turning the mushy fish over in his wings and looked down at the red marked Skipper who still grumbling and rubbing his face. "Eh, good times fly when you are having fun!" He cackled, smacking him again.

Flare screamed "FIFTY! Does anyone have a strepsil?"

Savio shook his head, leaning over to say to Marlene. "My only Question is where she managed to get a hold of a mega-phone." He hissed.

"MEGA-PHONE WORLD!" She screeched, standing on the snakes head and yelling in his ear with the mega-phone. The Snake topped over and the she-cat bounced up and walked away humming cheerfully only to be almost flattened by the door as Lark Commando rolled into it and knocked it clear off the hinges. The door smacking down with a slap the small blue gun in her hands made a violent humming noise before firing a blazing orange light towards the Penguin and Puffin, sending her backwards.

Laughing uncontrollably she sat up, stroking the weapon lovingly. "that. Was. AWESOME!"

"Whoo!" Rico shouted, flippers going up in victory before regaining a little bit of seriousness and scowling at flare. "Buh da mega fo'e came fwom meh."

Maurice was staring almost horrified. "What WAS that?!"

Julian jumped up. "I agreeing! What was dat! And why is de king not having one of these light gunny thingy's?"

Lark grinned. "It's the Love-u-Lazer 2.0! Less side effects apparently! And to answer Julians Question, BECAUSE YOU MANGLE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE BEYOND COMPREHENSION!" She screeched, before panting and going back to stroking the ray crazily.

"Ok." Marlene dragged out, pointing at the gun again. "But where'd you get it?"

"From Kowalski," She turned to look behind herself. "Who is apparently still in the lab… Oh well. Let's see if it worked!"

Skipper and Hans were sitting up slightly now, mumbling angrily and rubbing their heads while shooting suspicious glares at each other. Lark bounced over and cheerily sang "Haaaaans! You're going on a date with Skipper!"

The puffin looked up and grimaced. "I am sorry, I am not going on a date with Skipper. I won't do it."

"Likewise feline." The commando snarled.

Julian laughed loudly. "Maurice! Be adding dis to the file of da branity penguins failures! Oh how dey make me laugh."

Lark held up a paw, give em a minute! Kowalski said it would take a moment for the effects to kick in…"

Savio sighed. "And how long is that hmm?"

"Aw Skipper… I really think I love you…" Hans crooned, holding the penguins flipper in his wings.

"That long." She stated. "Happy?"

Rowan stood up and cracked his back. "My time to shine." He grinned, grabbing the couple by their shoulders and steering them from the room only to be halted by another call.

"Take Flare with you!" Lark shouted, shoving her friend at the tom only to have him raise an eye-brown and chuckle.

"Uh why?"

Lark smirked. "Because you two are also having a date!"

Rowan suddenly looked mildly horrified. "WHAT?!" he shouted, flare starting to pull him out the door, still humming.

"Take it like a man! Rub some dirt in it!" She shouted, now looking at the gathered company of Mort, Maurice, Julian, Savio, Marlene and Rico. "well this is depressin-"

Suddenly Clemson ran in still shouting and pounced on Julian and snatched the crown off his head, leaping up onto the stage and placing it on his head. "BOO-YAH BABY! I MADE IT!"

"No!" Julian shouted. "My crown! He has my crown, and my head is all naked-y!"

Lark shrugged, noticing Nitro and Private slouching disorientated by the door, moaning and rubbing their heads. "Well turns out the man-whor - I mean… wonderful leader? Is now our king so no, insulting, being mean or yelling at him." She dropped her voice to whisper and turned away yanking on her fur with her free paw. "You are so SCREWED." Looking down at the folder she now had open she blinked at the pages before swearing. "And now you need to find both Kowalski AND doris… Damn, damn, damn…"

Nitro was suddenly next to her, bandage over a nasty looking gash on his forehead. "What's happenin." He groaned.

Lark sighed and passed him her cell-phone. "Do me a favour and call Doris, get her over here would ya? I have to go find Kowalski-"

"Um… Helloo?" He stated, motioning towards his head. "Major wound and you want me to _work?" _

She blinked. "Yeah. Speaking of that how did you get it?" She asked.

Nitro rolled his eyes, "Clemson was really excited and may have taken some corners faster than he should have." He turned as she brushed past him and shouted. "What do I do with all them?"

She shrugged. "I donno. Duck-duck-goose? You'll figure it out!"

**MEANWHILE…**

A tall boy with dark brownish-ginger hair was strolling along, hands in the pockets of his ripped jeans. His dark blue eyes constantly flickered to the words 'YOUR LIFE JUST GOT BETTER' printed on the front of his orange t-shirt. He glanced over at his companion, the short girls black hair pulled messily into a long side plait, yellow eyes dreamy and distant as she slopped along beside him in her black flip flops, blue mottled puffy pants and black tank top with a large peace sign printed on the front in white.

Suddenly he stopped and shouted. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE WE ARE?!"

The girl giggled and shook her head. "nnnnnope!"

Rowan let his eyes narrow. "Well what do you want to do?"

Flare grinned. "BOWLING?"

The boy nodded. "Okay, Do you know where any bowling lanes are?"

"Mars!"

"And we go from helpful to psychotic in under 3.5… magic." He groaned.

**Meanwhile…**

Skipper giggled and lent further onto the table. "Have I ever told you have drop-dead gorgeous your eyes are?"

Hans shook his head, and lifted Skippers head. "No, they are not nearly as beautiful as yours…" He stated.

"Oh you." Skipper scoffed, turning away slightly.

Meanwhile one waitress turned to the waiter next to her. "Are they going to order or what?" She hissed.

The guy shrugged. "I don't know. They've been doing that since they sat down." He muttered, adjusting his waist-coat slightly.

What they were referring to was Skipper, (who's black hair had been slicked back off his face showing off his mid blue eyes and was currently wearing a blazer, a white dress shirt with the top button undone that wasn't tucked into his black pants and black shoes) and Hans, (Who's dark hair was also pushed back, but ruffled so parts of it still hung down with warm chestnut eyes. He was wearing clothes similar to skipper but the blazer was now a tail coat and the shirt was a light purple.) Who had been sitting there waving away any staff and flirting.

The waitress shook her head, turning to look at the waiter. "Do you ever get the feeling that out there somewhere some internet fan girl is screaming over a skans moment?"

The waiter shot her a look. "No. Plus they wouldn't be screaming yet." He noted, walking away to deal with a customer just as the waitress was knocked out.

An average looking teen-age girl slipped from the shadows and picked up the rock she had been holding, tucking it back inside the pocket of her blazer and she hefted the woman on to her shoulder and almost collapsed. "Dang." She Puffed. "No wonder Mrs James hates me, I suck at P.E." and with that dragged the waitress away. Muttering about 'knowing too much' and 'right you can't hear me, your unconscious.'

**Meanwhile…**

Lark turned the corner only to narrowly avoid slamming into Kowalski as he hummed and skipped his way from the corridor.

Shuffling back a few steps she eyed him up suspiciously and jerked her chin at him. "where ya been Science boy?"

Kowalski grinned goofily. "In that Lab of yours! Did you know you had 38 different types of acid?!" He squealed.

She narrowed her eyes. "And what were you doing?" She questioned.

He blinked, "I was working on a report to file about the Love-lazer 2.0 when I was distracted by all the high-tech equipment!"

She let her frown get even deeper. "Liar." She snarled, hefting a paw-ful of gritty black dust at him. "What were you actually doing."

He coughed and looked up "I was working on a report to file about the love-u-lazer 2.0 when I was distracted by all the high-tech equipment. What is that stuff?"

She pouted slightly. "So you were telling the truth. Hmm. Bit of a waste of truth dust don't cha think?" She stated, holding up a bag of the powder and glancing at the label

_Tell all for one…  
Now with 76% more leprechaun hats!  
*Published and Produced by Crazy-Pairing-Girl incorporated*_

Kowalski scoffed. "Truth dust? Why that's the work of science fiction."

Lark arched an eye-brow. "Says the penguin that keeps his truth serum in a hot-sauce bottle."

"… Point taken. Anyway, I am guessing you came to take me back to the main auditorium am I correct."

"That's right smart guy. Hurry up." She snapped, turning to walk away the way she came, completely missing the bright smile on Kowalski's face as he scribbled something down on his note-pad and swiftly dropped a big flipper-ful of candy coloured pills he had been hiding behind his back into the empty medicine container he had found before screwing the lid back on and rushing after the she-cat.

**Meanwhile…**

"My head is naked. My head is nude. Lost is my throne. Dark is my mood." Julian recited, arms covering his head as he sat curled up next to the small dolphin that was perched unsteadily on a Segway.

"Crazy Poetry." She sighed, glancing around the room with her burning teal eyes. "Great." With that she continued down the slope towards the group of animals basically laying on the ground or playing silly games.

And Otter suddenly turned to a small penguin, eyes lit up. "Is it A watermelon!"

"Nope."

"Dang it."

A large lemur was sitting across from a smaller lemur both holding cards.

Maurice sighed. "Got any threes."

Mort consulted his hand.

Three of diamonds,

Thee of spades,

Three of hearts.

"Nope!" He cheered happily. "go fishy!"

She was about to say something when a tap on the shoulder interrupted her and she turned on the Segway to face the cat. "Yes?" she asked, if not a little impatiently.

Nitro shrugged it off and smiled slightly, vision still marginally blurry from where he had thrashed it earlier. "Hi Doris, I'm Nitro, the guy from the phone conversation, anyway I'm going to need you to do one thing for me."

"witch is?" she enquired, batting her lashes ever so slightly.

It was wasted on the tom though as he swayed from side to side. "Just answer Kowalski truthfully when he gets here. Now if you don't mind me I think Satan is calling the chocolate moo cow." He then promptly collapsed into a heap on the ground.

The dolphin wheeled herself away slightly, driving around the passed out body.

That was when she heard the angry snarl. A bristling dark brown tabby was standing directly in front of her, eyes burning and claws extended to crazy lengths. "YOU STUPID, ANNOYING, FRUSTRATING, WH-" she was cut off by a loud shout from an orange lemur.

"Oh lark? I could use a foot rub right now!" He sang, face lit up darkly as the cats shoulders hunched and she stalked away, mumbling and slashing at the air.

"Uh? What was that Lark?" the lemur enquired.

"Nothing King Clemson!"

More than slightly disturbed by the strange and unrelated scenes the Dolphin turned and was about to drive away when a familiar voice interrupted her. "Uh? Doris?"

Rolling her eyes she turned again, fixing a faux smile on her face, ready to get the hell out of here and back to the ocean. "Hi Kowalksi! Fancy seeing you here, it's been a while hasn't it!" She beamed.

The penguin shuffled nervously on his feet, not taking his eyes off hers. "Uhm, yeah, I suppose although time isn't exactly measured like that, it's very much a relative thing when you do-" He caught the slightly annoyed look in her eyes and promptly snapped his beak shut. "Anyway… Doris. I know you and I have talked about this 16-"

"17." She corrected, already knowing what he was going to say.

His face fell. "Oh." He muttered. "So you know what this is about then don't y-"

"Yes." She sighed, a bored expression on her face as she studied the ends of her flippers.

"So." He whispered, voice hoarse. "Would you-"

"Kowalski-" She interrupted, letting her face fall into a kind look as she reached out and nudged him with her nose. "I know how much you care. And trust me you are a truly amazing guy and I know I would be so lucky to have you, but we are far too different for it to work out. I would still love to be your friend though." She paused. "So do you just want to call this number 18 and forget it happened?" she offered.

The penguin nodded numbly. "Yeah. Sure Whatever I guess."

She smiled brightly, turning and wheeling herself out with a last air kiss. "Toodles K!"

"Bye." He mumbled, watching as she walked away. Again.

Lark had her teeth bared in a furious hiss, attention snapping back to the lemur as he started shouting. "AH! CLAWS! CLAAAAAAWS!"

"Sorry King Clemson." She muttered.

The lemur narrowed his eyes. "No, just for that act of insolence you can call me 'King Clemson, the almighty and Powerful!' Yeah, I like that. It has a nice ring to it don't you think?"

The cat narrowed her own eyes. "Sure King Clemson the almighty and powerful." She growled out from between ground teeth.

**Meanwhile…**

Rowan stared blankly up at the scores as Flare bowled another strike.

"How the holy hell." He muttered as Flare came prancing back and dropped another bowling ball on his foot.

"Your turn!" She giggled.

The boy grimaced slightly and pulled the ball off his foot. It had stopped hurting about 4 bowls ago and was now just numb. And his shoe was leaking blood, but never mind that. He limped up to the red line and took aim, and sent the ball spinning…

Right into the gutter.

Turning around he looked at Flare who had her head tipped to the side. "Did I ever mention I suck at bowling?" He grumbled, limping back up to get another ball before lining it up again, this time managing to knock down one.

Flare blinked. "you really, really suck." She noted.

He exhaled deeply. "I think it would be better if we just remained friends."

The girl smiled. "My turn!"

**MEANWHILE…**

Skipper felt the sink behind him as he was shoved up against it, arms pulling the 'puffin' closer and crushing their mouths together in hard frantic kisses as he felt hands knotting into his hair and dragging him down.

His mind was hazy and blurred and he gasped as Hans started laying forceful kisses against his neck.

"God I love you." He whimpered

"mmm. You too." His companion murmured, continuing to nip at the Team leaders neck.

It was then a though popped into his mind. 'MANFREDI'. He swept it aside, but another took its place. 'MINES' Slowly more and more of him mind started to flicker back into the place, the Rushed Kisses attacking his skin slowing as well until for a moment both men stood there, frozen as they held all the fragile pieces of their sanity.

Then they started yelling and screaming, shoving the other away and scratching at their skin frantically.

"WHAT DID I JUST DO?!" Skipper screeched, turning the tap on and scooping handfuls of water onto his face and neck, scrubbing crazily.

Hans was acting similar, running in circles, yelping like a frightened puppy. "YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME!"

"YOU WERE KISSING ME! OH GOD, I WAS KISSINGBACK!" He wailed, suddenly coming to his sense and rushing out of the bathroom and the restaurant and out onto the side-walk.

Hans was quick to follow. Falling in step beside him, head down and face burning. "What do we do now-"

"Nothing." Skipper snapped, pointedly looking away. "We tell no one. Agreed?"

Hans shuddered slightly, rubbing his lips with the back of his hand. "Agreed."

**Meanwhile…**

"So Private what did you think?" Lark asked as the screen rolled up.

The littlest penguin was looking annoyed up at the moving screen. "What was that?! Some cheap copy-cat of the lunacorns?!" He cried, outraged.

Lark looked up and frowned. "Just say it's better."

"But it _wasn't_!"

The tabby she-cat suddenly snapped, voice taking on a suddenly demon like quality. "**DO IT.**"

"EEEK! OK, MY LITTLE PONY IS BETTER THAN THE LUNACORNS, PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!" He cried, turning and jumping to hide quivering under his seat.

Lark sighed and stood up, just in time to almost be flattened by Flare as she tackled her into the ground. "LARKY!" She cried happily, grinning dopily down at her.

The bitter she-cat moaned and looked up. "Flare? Do you mind."

The black and blue-grey she-cat continued to smile. "No."

"Ok, let me rephrase that." She smiled, before letting her face drop again. "GET OFF ME."

Flare nodded hastily and stood up, allowing Lark to get to her paws as well, just in time to see Rowan hobble in with a mushed up foot, face dark and he growled out. "I. BLAME. YOU."

Nitro looked suddenly aware and less drugged from the ten bottles of pain-killers Julian had prescribed his after he had refused to shut-up during the show. "Rowan? What happened to – OH MOTHER OF MERCY?! IS THAT A FOOT?!" He Screeched, rearing away from the paw.

"IKR?!" Rowan yelled back, before mumbling curses under his breath as he started to hobble towards the infirmary on the third floor, Nitro pale faced but following him anyway.

Then Skipper and Hans Walked in through the door, both looking completely blank.

"Ooooh!" Rico chuckled. "Ho' da 'ate?"

Skipper started. "We went to a restaurant."

Hans continued. "We ordered food and ate it."

"The love-u-lazer wore off and we left."

"And this whole speech has not been rehearsed." Hans Finished.

Savio raised an eye-brow mockingly. "Welllllll, With the way you two were carrying on I would have thought you had been making out in the bathroom."

Skipper snapped, jumping on the snake and knocking him out. "HE KNOWS! THEY ALL KNOW!" He screamed, attempting to knock out private when Rico jumped up and slapped him across the face. He stopped; regaining his senses and took a deep breath.

"Thank you soldier." He sighed. "I think I needed that."

Lark exhaled deeply. "Nooooo, what I think you need is some fresh air."

"I am seconding that." Julian added, crouching behind Clemson, who only stepped to the left to have the ring-tailed lemur cry and leap behind the unconscious and rather bendy, body of Savio.

The tabby she-cat held up a paw and finally stated, "Imma go, just for a moment. Flare you're in charge!" She went to run out but stopped about a quarter of a meter away from the door and shivered. "I never thought I'd say those words. Ever." She shrugged them off and ran out.

Blinking Innocently Flare turned to Julian and smiled. "Why are you so mean to everyone?"

The ring tailed lemur put a hand on his hip and rolled his eyes. "Well duh you silly kitty, in order to be a good king you have to be mean to your subjects. It is what sets de leaders apart from de followers."

The she-cat frowned. "Don't you know that the best kings are kind to their subjects?"

Clemson snorted. "Where did you get this cracked up information?"

_**MEANWHILE IN DOWNTOWN GOTHEM…**_

There was a shout of "Hold on? Since when could I Drive?"

And then the sound of a car crashing into a tree.

**Meanwhile in 'actually relatedville'… -_-**

"_I'D RATHER LIIIIIVE! WITH BROKEN BONES, THEN LAY HERE ALL ON MY OWN, LIKE A LOVESICK FOOOOOOOOOOL!"_

Lark stared blankly at the door. Lesson learned. When Kowalski was depressed, his singing voice sucked. Handy to know. She clicked off the tape recorder. It was also handy to have.

It was then she kicked down the door before Kowalski could launch into another terrible verse and dragged the penguin out of his seat and hauled him backwards away from the desk he had been sobbing on moments before.

He wailed bitterly. "Can't you see my heart it broken?"

"If your heart was really broken… you'd be dead. So shut up." She snapped.

Kowalski just sobbed again, burying his head in the free flipper as lark hauled him along the corridor with the other. "What do you want…" He cried.

"You know 20 metric tonnes of meth, a couple of armed tanks and world domination."

"What?"

"Nothing." She stated quickly, promptly pulling a gun out of nowhere and shooting the security camera nearest her before muttering "no one can know." Under her breath before merrily proclaiming. "So how are you!?"

Kowalski only leaned back and gave her one of the blankest looks possible.

It kinda looked like -_- but I digress.

"You really can't tell?" He asked.

Lark shrugged a little. "I can infer… But you know, looks can be deceiving."

Kowalski only gave her that look again.

"Did you know Skipper and Hans made out under the influence of that ray you made?"

"WHAT!?"

Lark chuckled. "Yeah, great conversation starter I know." She gloated.

The scientists exhaled. "Right. It was a joke…."

The she-cat laughed. "No it wasn't."

"WHAT?!"

"WOULD YOU STOP WITH THE SCREAMING?!"

"IF YOU STOP TELLING ME CRAZY THINGS!"

"Ok, Slight problem with that, everything that happens around here, in case you haven't noticed, behaves like its ON GOD-DAMN CRACK." She snapped, finally pushing him through the door roughly and following him in afterwards.

"My face." He mumbled from where he was planted face first on the ground.

"Oh Hi Kowalski!" Marlene stated, waving slightly before she was pulled to her feet and shoved beside skipper who was looking with confusion down at the envelopes in his flippers.

"Congrats, you two are going to Disney-land, que cheers of excitement, bring everyone back a souvenir and have a good time." Lark stated blandly.

Marlene started to protest "But I-"

"Oh by the way your flight leaves in 8 minutes so I'd hurry."

"WHAT?!" Skipper shouted. "ARE YOU INSA-"

"7 minutes."

The penguin glared as the otter hauled him from the room. "Have I told you lately that I hate you?"

"No, But thanks for reinforcing that!" She shouted at the retreating figures.

Rowan clapped his paws together. "Right! Now what?"

Julian sat up, sucsessfully knocking the cucumbers off his eyes for the 23rd time. "Uh, is de King getting to go on one of des trips?" He asked.

Clemson laughed demonically from where he was sitting on the edge of the stage, and tilted his crown forward. "Yes, Is _the king_ I.E, Me, going on one of these trips?"

Julian pouted and turned away, shoulder fur bristling, only encouraging Clemson to laugh harder.

Flare dug her way out from under a mountain of paper and held up a piece of paper in her paw. "Nooooooooo, We are asking Kowalski, who is being a silly mopey-bum what his most **DANGEROUS AND DEADLY **invention is." She giggled, completely ignoring her spaz in the middle.

Lark moaned and let her head fall into her paws. "No… Tell me she isn't getting touretts as well!"

Kowalski sipped at a love smoothie and narrowed his eyes at the host. "Ok, I'll answer your question, IF, afterwards you answer one for me." He stated.

Flare nodded enthusiastically, sending flurries of paper everywhere.

"Well that was easy, it was the cronotron, had it not been for Rico our entire universe would have been completely destroyed."

Mort frowned. "But I LIIIIKE our universe."

"Excatly." The scientist finished, swirling his straw around in the fruity drink before pointing back at the she-cat. "Now. Are all of those dares?"

Flare shook her head violently. "Nope!"

Kowalski dead-panned. "Then, what are they?"

"Blank pieces of paper!"

Private just looked confused. "Why?"

"Because it's my favourite game! Find the dare in the stack of blank paper! It's like find the needle in the hay-stack except… you know, less pokey."

Maurice sighed and sat down. "Why am I not surprised."

**MEANWHILE…**

Marlene was pressed up against the backseat of the taxi in terror, gripping her seatbelt with one hand and trying to keep the unconscious guy away from her with the other.

She was a moderate height with hazel eyes, brown hair tied up in a messy bun with a full fringe swinging across her forehead. She was wearing a white three-quarter length shirt with a brown cardigan and skirt as well as a pair of white ballet-flats.

"SKIPPER WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" She yelped as the former penguin drove the car violently around another corner, whooping loudly.

He laughed. "What does it look like? DRIVING!"

"Oh god, I'm going to die, we are going to die – What the… ARE THOSE HICKEYS!?" She yelled, leaning forward to try get a better look at Skippers neck only to have him swerve down another road.

"Mind your own business Marlene!" He retorted.

She rubbed her jaw and moaned, pushing herself away from the window. "I think I just lost a tooth. More warning next time please!" She groaned.

"Ok. CORNER!"

"Wha – OOOOOW!"

**MEANWHILE…**

_**CRASH.**_

Everyone looked up at the roof, surprised by the loud banging and screaming that had suddenly burst out from above.

Lark narrowed her eyes slightly. "I could have sworn I tied it up."

Rowan, who was currently leaning back in a chair nursing a bandaged paw shot her a started look. "Tied _What _up?!"

She paused shooting glances back and forth. "Nothing…"

Without warning The tom cat was wearing a blonde/brown wig and clutching a lantern in one hand and a golden statue of a kneeling man with a sword in the other. "I don't trust you!" He Growled in a strange accent.

"Ok, Where'd you get the lantern, wig and Stephano from?" Lark sighed.

The tom lazily tossed the objects over his shoulder. "Not important."

The bangs started to get closer, screams turning into shouts and cries of pain. Thankfully this drowned out Maurices yelps as Julain and mort chased him around with brooms because 'the brain eating hair monster was back.'

"What in the name of Copenha-" Hans was cut off as the door was blown of the hinges, for the second time that day (Nitro visibly slumped at the prospect of fixing it again) by a smallish girl sporting a spike collar and sunglasses perched on the top of her head practically tackling Blowhole around the middle.

"BLOWEY!" She laughed, grinning manically down at the struggling dolphin.

"For crying out loud! Had I known you would be here, I never would have agreed!" He shouted angrily, continuing to squirm and wriggle.

The Girl almost cackled. "That's no way to talk to your older sister Blowy!"

"Would you cut it ou- WE ARE NOT RELATED!" The dolphin yelped, outraged, face blood red as he noticed all the incredulous stares.

Lark sighed and lent back in a chair, pulling out a file and casually starting to sharpen the points of her claws. "You know, to most people, this wouldn't be normal. But then again when have any of us ever been normal?"

"GET –ungh- YOUR –ungh- GREEDY TENTICALLY HAIRS –ungh- AWAY FROM –ungh- MAURICE!" Julian shouted, slamming down the broom as he ran after Maurice.

"YEAH YOU STINKITY HAIR BEAST!" Mort yelled, promptly dropping the broom on himself and giggling.

"THANK YOU! THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY POINT FOR ME!" Lark shouted, waving a fist angrily.

Flare piped up in song. "If you've never seen any of this stuff happen then you've never been on acid!"

It was in that moment a loud voice gathered everyone's attention, shutting up the general mumbling/screaming/hooblahing/whistling that was occurring.

The tall female penguin lowered her arms and propped them on her hips looking down her beak with the sharp green eyes at the gathered animals. "Well, glad to see you at least know how to behave civilly." She chided. "Chey, be a dear and get off my son."

The girl did so, folding her arms across her chest and smirking visibly.

The older female nodded her head. "Right. My name is Crystal, Bry-"

"Seriously mother!" Blowhole whined. "No-one calls me that."

She looked slightly taken aback by this. "Why not."

Blowhole pointed an accusing flipper at Rico. "I blame him." He growled.

Rico grinned wickedly, sharing a glance with Kowalski who was struggling to hold back laughter. "Whaddaya gonna do?" He offered flippers up.

"She's blowholes mom!" the Irish settler, Chey, finished still beaming like a mad woman. "And I'm his older sister!"

"No you aren't." the dolphin grumbled.

"Puh-lease!" She responded, sticking her tongue out.

"Okay, not to be rude, but is there a point to this family gathering?" Kowalski asked.

Chey laughed, face taking of a darker look. "Of course! Dares!"

Clemson quickly put up a peace sign. "Uh, as king, I declare, NO DARES FOR ME!"

Lark frowned. "Don't worry king Clemson the almighty and powerful, there are none for you…" then she turned around, walked out of the room, up two flights of stairs, around a corner, down the hallway to the metal hatch, opened it slid down the fireman's pole into a tiny box like room with one window and a small door were she stated. "…Witch is a shame, because I really wanted to see you cry."

There was a moment of silence the moment she left the room, everyone looking at each other awkwardly as they waited for something to happen.

Savio groaned and stirred slightly, shaking his head and looking up blearily. "Uh, What did I miss?"

Nitro raised on eye-brow and Kowalski snorted. "I don't even know _where _ to begin with what was wrong with that question."

**Meanwhile…**

Marlene and Skipper walked into the Airport.

And by walked I mean stumbled in on weak legs dragging suitcases behind them and trying to act like they hadn't just been driving around in the car witch was now lodged firmly in the car-park wall.

"My only question is where I got this luggage from." Marlene finally commented, looking down at the bag and raising on eye-brow. "And since when my name was 'Katie bowell.'"

Skipper shrugged. "We have to blend in somehow."

Meanwhile a pleasant elderly couple were standing by the baggage claiming area looking very lost as they waited for their bags to arrive, even though everyone else had left already.

Marlene frowned and pushed the bag back towards the commando. "Take it back." She ordered.

"Sure, and miss the flight? No." And walked off before the girl could argue.

As he stormed away he stormed past a teen sitting and pretending to read an unpside down newspaper, making weird comments to the slouching woman wearing sun-glasses beside her, such as "Did you hear about that Tsunami in Gerfiljikerstan? Tragic. Or about the stabbing at 1234 this is a really legit address lane? It was brutal they say, brutal."

Sadly no-one bothered to tell her she was being incredibly un-sly about it all and was attracting attention from security. She was Staring openly as Skipper walked past, not even bothering to try hide it with the 1975 news-paper.

She turned to the woman beside her and started laughing wildy. "This is going to be absolutely epic! Just you wait!" She elbowed her in the ribs and the woman fell off the bench into the floor, showing she was actually unconscious.

"Ah Sheeb." She swore, leaping up and sprinting away from security, hollering something about bodies in the roof of her science class room.

**Meanwhile…**

Chey knocked lightly on the door. "Come on Blowy… It can't be that bad!"

"Yes it can! You did this for that very reason!" He shouted back.

The girl pondered this for a moment. "Yeah, your right actually. It can!" It was then she just burst out laughing again.

Savio cringed and went back to rubbing circles on his head with his tail.

Clemson wandered over, tilting his crown back up right as he did. "You feeling all right?"

"No." The boa moaned. "It feels like some-one has dropped a tonne of bricks on my forehead."

Clemson pondered this for a moment, "Would a massage help?"

"Your offering to massage my head?" Savio asked, sending the ginger lemur a look.

"Me?" Clemson asked, placing a paw on his chest and grinning slightly, before laughing merrily. "No I don't do those things. MAURICE!"

The aye-aye looked over sharply from where Nitro was fumbling with a tub of deep-heat and apologizing as he tried to get it open to help the others numerous head bruises. "One minute." He shouted.

"Your king is calling!" Clemson sang out, still grinning.

Savio narrowed his eyes slightly "You are really milking this for all its worth aren't you."

"I try." He sighed

"What?" Maurice asked, obviously fed up with the fumbling tom-cat.

"Savio has a bit of a sore head, you mind massaging it for him? No, course you don't, why? Because I'm the king and what I say goes." And with that the 'king' pushed him towards the wary looking snake.

His face paled "B-b-but the head, is right above the mouth!" he protested.

"Wow, you were paying attention in biology weren't you?" Clemson stated sarcastically. "So?"

"SO?!" Maurice shouted

The lemur groaned "Oh come on, he won't eat you, he hasn't eaten me has he!"

"He tried." Maurice defended.

"Meh, meh, someone knows how to hold a – woah moma." Clemson cut off, staring blankly at the other side of the room.

Blowhole was standing on a Segway, shoulders hunched as he glared stubbornly forward despite Rico, Private, Kowalski, Chey, Julian and Mort's jeers.

"Looking beautiful Blowey!" Chey taunted, whipping out a camera and snapping a photo before the dolphin could react.

What she was referring too was the sparkly, ruffled, poofy and hot pink dress the evil doctor was wearing, accompanied by the be-dazzled tiara perched on his head.

Kowalski was snorting. "Were you going? A _cotillion_?!"

Private blinked. "Uh, way over my head Kowalski."

The scientist sighed. "It's a formal setting in which young ladies are presented to society."

"Still above my head."

"It's a dance." Kowalski finally growled.

"Indeed." Chey stated, "But _we_ won't be the ones dancing!"

Blowhole shot her a look. "Why do you hate me so much?"

She smirked. "It's sibling love. Oh, and thanks for the mind-jacker!"

The dolphin narrowed his eyes and looked at her strangely. "What Mind-jacker?"

She held up the device casually with a half-smile. "This one."

"What the-" the dolphin jabbed a few buttons and wasn't surprised to find the experiment missing.

Chey laughed and waked around behind the dolphin and started ushering him towards the stage. "Just because it's EX-thief doesn't mean I still don't know a thing or two."

**Meanwhile…**

The clock ticked. And tocked. And Ticked. And tocked again.

Rowan exhaled deeply. "Well this is awkward." He said finally, leaning forward and putting his head in his paws looking at the female penguin across from him. "sooo, Crystal… What are you like, What makes Crystal tick?" He asked.

The penguin seemed to ponder this for a moment before finally speaking. "Well, blowhole is my adopted son as you probably guessed already, uh, Ooh! I'm in the military, mainly in covert operations fighting mostly against…" Her face dropped and she growled, "Professer Snake, a two sided scum ball who deserves to rot in jail."

Rowan blinked. "Woah, really?"

Crystal smiled. "Yeah."

It was then an outraged cry of a certain dolphin shook the small kitchen.

She shot upright and looked sharply towards the door. "What's going on?!" She demanded.

Rowan stood and hobbled behind her, carefully pushing her back slightly into the chair. "Believe me when I say it's probably better you don't know. Tea?"

**Meanwhile…**

Skipper was glaring across the lobby. "I don't trust that man." He muttered to marlene.

She put down the magazine with an exasperated sigh "Skipper he's security!"

Skipper started to protest "He could be double agent-"

"But he's not." She growled, looking up to see the other members of their flight going to board the plane. "Now hurry, we have to go!"

"But he could be Marlene, and Ill stress that again, COULD be!" The commando stated heavily.

She turned around and looked at him incredulously "… why are you so paranoid about everything."

It was obvious he wasn't even listening "Hold that thought, I'm going in."

Marlene Sighed and rolled her eyes. "Oh for crying out, skipper? SKIPPER!" She shouted stepping forward as if to follow the dive rolling soldier.

"What?" He hissed from behind a potted plant, sounding a little frustrated.

"Get back here!" she demanded in a hushed whisper, trying not to look like a freak talking to the plant as she pointed at the ground in front of her.

"I'm sorry?" A man asked snappily as she walked into him.

"Oh, uh, my bad, I uh, didn't see you there, please, go through." She stammered as the man pushed past returning to his mobile phone call.

_**CRASH.**_

"Nope. Not a double agent. Now hurry along Marlene!" Skipper stated quickly as he rushed past.

"SKIPPER!" She screeched chasing after him.

**Cheese grater… (Ha, bet that through you off, didn't it XD)**

"This song… So many bad memories…" Lark Shuddered.

Private shrugged. "I wouldn't know, I never watched TV as a cick-"

"BE THANKFUL!"Rowan wailed. "THIS SHOW GAVE ME A BLOODY PHOBIA OF DINOSAURS!"

What they were speaking about was the song Blowhole was currently singing. Many of you will know it from the childhood trauma of having to watch a giant purple dinosaur parade around the front of your TV.

That's right, It was the theme song from 'Barney and friends'

"Blowy!" Chey called, waving her camera slightly. "Sing louder, I can't hear you bro!"

The Dolphin shuddered and sang louder.

"Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination, And when he's tall, He's what we call a dinosaur sensation." He growled out, turning in circle before launching into the next part. "Barney's friends are big and small, They come from lots of places, After school they meet to play And sing with happy faces."

Kowalski was scribbling down on pad as he watched the three cats huddle closer under blanket, Rowan Sobbing, Flare wide eyed and hyperventilating and Lark Shivering violently. He lent over to Rico who was swaying and smiling crazily. "It would seem that this seemingly pleasant tune has negative associations for those three? Would you agree?"

The penguin nodded quickly "Uh-huh!"

"Barney shows us lots of things, Like how to play pretend . ABC's, and 123's, And how to be a friend. Barney comes to play with us, Whenever we may need him, Barney can be your friend too, If you just make-believe him." Blowhole finished.

Chey grinned, "Brilliant, absolutely wonderful. Now the Barbie song."

"Oh for fu-"

"WATCH IT BUDDY! THIS ISN'T RATED M!" Lark shouted, waving a fist.

Rowan shrugged. "Should be. It's only going to get more and more awkward and more perverted jokes and sexual innuendoes are going to be made."

"That's what she said." Flare giggled.

Rowan narrowed his eyes. "That makes no sense in that context, you do know that right?"

"YOU MAKE NO SENCE IN THAT CONTEXT!" she retaliated. "BOOM SUCKA!"

That's when blowhole piped up again. "I'm a Barbie girl… in a Barbie world…"

Chey sighed, leaning on the stage heavily and focusing her video camera. "LOUDER!"

**MEANWHILE…**

Marlene was glaring, hazel eyes dark with what could be described as murderous intent.

Skipper squirmed under her gaze, avoiding her eyes as much as possible. "It's not my-"

"It is." She said, cutting him off.

He wriggled around on the bench slightly. "Well hoe was I supposed to know that-"

"YOU GOT US THROWN IN AIRPORT JAIL! AND NOW WE'RE SURROUNDED BY DRUG SMUGGLERS, no offence, AND THAT CREEPY GIRL IN THE CORNER WHO HASN'T STOPPED STARING AT US SINCE WE ENTERED!"

The girl shrugged. "I got no regrets. Haven't you heard of the staring game?"

Marlene gave her an incredulous look. "No!"

She shrugged. "Meh. How much is needed to bail you out?"

"Classified!" skipper snapped.

The guard, previously thought to be asleep behind the desk looked up and with a very bored tone drawled. "250$"

The former otter looked suddenly intruigued. "Why? Are you going to bail us out?!"

The girl laughed. "No, I don't have that kind of money!"

"Oh."

"But I do have a rock." And with that the teen stood up and hurled the fist-sized stone at the guard, effectively knocking him unconscious.

Skipper smiled, standing up. "Great! Now how do we get out of here."

The girl blinked. "Uh… work in progress?"

**MEANWHILE…**

"I don't quite get why I had to stay in the kitchen all this time." Crystal said as Lark casually led her back into where everyone else was standing.

The tabby shrugged. "It was Nitro's idea. The little citizen thought it would be for the best."

But The penguin wasn't listening anymore, too busy pestering her son for details. That's when Chey stood up and clapped her hands, effectively summoning attention. "You all ready to have your minds blown!?"

"Shh!" Rowan hissed. "New-Zealand's got talent is on! An old woman's about to sing! I _need _to see this!" He turned back to the television only to scream and throw himself backwards. "DOGS!"

Maurice sighed. "I'd say go for it, the people who are listening are probably the only ones that will."

"NO!" Julain shouted. "I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE MY BRAIN EXPLODIFIED! I LIKE IT BEING INSIDE OF DE ROYAL SKULL!"

Clemson coughed politely beside him and the ring-tailed lemur's eye started twitching.

"WOULD YA ALL JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN?!" Chey shouted, throwing her arms up in exasperation.

"Holy hell! Did you see that? Hans! Get over here, you have to see this dude!" Savio urged from where he had managed to squeeze in next to Rowan.

"SAVIO! SHUT YA… Oh jeez, this just ain't worth it. Kowalski Crystals your sister, Blowhole, Kowalski's your uncle." Chey finally growled.

Rico turned sharply to the scientist, face dark. "Walski…"

The tactician threw up his flippers! "Believe me! I know even less than you do!" He paused, and put a flipper on his chin thoughtfully. "However, there isn't any-way of me actually denying this fact. She is older than me… perhaps… yes, that is fairly likely."

Private looked at his strangely. "Are you going to tell us what your are-"

"What? No. Get your own theories!"

Blowhole however looked like someone had just smacked him in the face with a raw steak. "What?! He's my _uncle?! _But… I'm older than him by a good couple of years!"

"If it helps, we obviously aren't blood related. Witch is very good." Kowalski stated, propping his flippers on his hips.

Blowhole nodded, clearly agreeing even if he did seem a little spaced out still.

Chey clapped her hands again. "Come on Blowey! I want to sing! Witch therefor implies that you will be also singing."

"Joy." He grumbled as music, courtesy of Nitro backstage kicked in.

"Do do do do do de do do do do do do do do do!" Blowhole grumbled.

Chey chipped in then with "Mahna Mahna!"

"Do doo be-do-do." He continued.

"Mahna Mahna!"

"Do do-do do."

"If I hadn't already been insane, this song probably would have driven me over the edge." Lark stated, eyes narrowing slightly as she fought from going and beating the stuffing out of Clemson just to try retain her few precious grains of sanity

It was then Chey started scatting.

"Do do do do do de do do do do do do do do do!" Blowhole interjected.

"Mahna Mahna." Chey added.

The evil dolphin was obviously tired of the song… and it wasn't even a fraction done. "Do doo be-do-do."

"Mahna Maa…" Chey's interjection died out as Skipper staggered through the door with Marlene, both looking dishevelled and fed up.

"How was Disney land!" Private chirped as the music cut out.

Marlene snorted. "It was great. If by Disney land you mean air-port jail, an abandoned rail-way tunnel and a butchers shop then yes, it was fantastic!"

Skipper snorted. "Don't forget to mention the rabid dogs _outside _the butchers shop!"

"Oh god. Don't even get me started on those!" she snapped.

"May I enquire as to what _actually _happened?" Kowalski asked, head tilting to the side.

Skipper rolled his eyes. "Well it all started…" He stopped, eyes locked straight ahead and muscles tensing. "Chey…" He growled.

The Irish settler grinned impishly and waved. "How goes it Skipper?"

"This is more intense than 100% pure orange extract. And that is _pretty _intense. "Rowan mumbled, offering the pop-corn to Savio who only gave him a funny look.

Chey grinned and leapt down off the stage. "Skipper I want you to meet Crystal."

The female penguin smiled and waved politely. "Pleasure to meet you Skipper."

The commando glared slightly. "I wish I could say the same Mrs, but sadly anyone in with _her _can only be considered hostile."

The female penguin only continued to smile pleasantly. "Of course, I understand. However that does make it much easier for me to beat the crap out of you."

His brows furrowed. "what?"

**Three minutes and 542.7 minor injuries later…**

Skipper lay on the ground panting and wheezing, clutching his sides and moaning in pain.

Crystal shook her head almost pityingly. "Males." She pushed her feathers backwards and checked her watch. "Chey! I think it's time we left."

"What?! Aww… no way! Do we have too?! I just got a great idea to dare Skippe-"

"No." She stated firmly. "It's time to go. Now come-along."

The girl rolled her eyes. "Fine." But as she was leaving she whirled around and pointed at the recovering Skipper. "But you can bet your right flipper I'll be back."

"Counting on it _female._" He retaliated.

Lark sighed and stretched out in her chair. "Geez… Finally! Some peace 'round here!"

Nitro then suddenly sprinted in, face flushed as he hurriedly dragged in a large stack of papers and a disgruntled looking porcupine.

"Lark…" He stopped to inhale and exhale like there was no tomorrow. "We just got more dares… Also…" He stopped at turned to the quill covered mammal. "Uh, sorry, your name is?"

She grinned wickedly. "The Names Crazy Flyer 3000!"

"Riiiiiiiiight." Lark sighed. "And you're here because?"

The porcupine laughed. "Girls day out! We're all hitting the mall!"

The cat blinked before letting loose a wild cheer and spontaneously starting to dance. "I'M BUSTING OUT OF THIS NUT-HOUSE!"

"Then what the hell are ya waitin' for? Let's go already!" Crazy Flyer shouted, grabbing Flare and Marlene's paws as she went past.

Lark laughed. "Seya suckers! Nitro!"

The spotted tom looked up, a pencil between his teeth and paper stuck to his fur. "Yeah?"

"You're in charge!"

His face fell. "Oh snap."

Rowan was suddenly at his side and cramming a blonde wig on his head. He adjusted his own tie and turned his focus to the mic in his paw. "Gentlemen! Welcome to the first annual… TOURTURE SKIPPER MOMENT!"

The penguin commandoes head shot up. "Wait, What?!"

**Meanwhile….**

Four girls strolled into the mall with linked arms, all grinning and laughing crazily. Between Lark and Flare stood a girl with short and curly light brown hair and pale skin. A pair of big black glassed surrounded her bright blue eyes, She was sporting a black t-shirt with the words "I don't like you" in big red letters across the chest and baggy, faded black jeans with torn hems. She was also wearing mismatched flip-flops.

"I can't tell you how good it feels to have a proper girls day!" Marlene laughed. "the last one I had I nearly got mauled by my cousins!"

Lark shot her a strange look. "Girl you haven't been living! I think we have to teach you what 'girl fun' really is. You agree?"

Crazy flyer nodded. "You bet, I am SO in!"

Flare suddenly started bouncing up and down. "Look! Look! Ice-cream!" she yelped.

**Meanwhile…**

Rowan, Now also wearing a pair of glassed and a goatee looked at Skipper thoughtfully. "Skipper, the first part of your trial is easy."

"Oh so it's a trial now?" Skipper asked, looking cocky.

"Yep." Nitro sighed, leaning heavily on the desk he was now perched behind with Rowan. "Oh, and Lark left some truth-dust along with a note."

The reddish-brown tom looked suddenly interested. "what does it say?"

Nitro smiled slightly. "I quote; 'Don't screw up'."

Rowan scoffed. "Classic Lark. So shall we see if this truth dust works?"

Kowalski's head shot up, and his flipper flew into the air. "Uh… can I speak to Skipper first?"

The cats shrugged. "Why not." Rowan shrugged. "You've got… 46 seconds, GO!"

Kowalski was already walking off the stage, casually tightening the lid on a container as he did. "Done."

"Oh. Kay then. TRUTH DUST TIME!" Rowan grinned, jumping from behind the desk and onto the stage before hefting a scoop of the gritty black powder at the penguin leader. "Tell me skipper…. Who do you love?"

"For crying out loud! What is it with people and knowing about skippers love life?" Clemson asked, quickly accepting the smoothie from Maurice and placing it on Mort's head, which appeared to be acting as some-kind of side table. The mouse lemur still had it better than Julian who was grumbling and cursing the sky-spirits as he remained on his hands and knees as a foot-rest.

"Meh." Rowan sneered. "We don't make the dares! Go take it up with some angry fan-girls."

Nitro shook his head frantically. "DON'T! I accidentally dissed a pairing and they strung me up by my tail and beat me with base-ball bats!" He shuddered, shrinking back slightly back into his chair.

Hans made a slight face. "And they broke your arm as well?" He asked.

Nitro laughed. "Nah… I got that from attempting to par-take in rugby." He shook his head. "I should have known, I'm no good at sport, why the heck would that have been an exception?"

Skipper, who by this time, was done with his coughing fit over inhaling the sparkly black particles straightened up and in a mono-tone voice said. "No… one…"

There was a collective sigh.

Rowan shrugged, pulling out a hair-dryer and blowing away the remaining loitering truth dust sighed. "Well that was a waste. Oh well."

He promptly placed a jug of water on Skippers head and darted of stage just as Rico started hurling grenades.

"Woah! Soldier! What are you doing!" Skipper yelled, as he darted back and forth, desperately trying to avoid the explosions and keep the water in the container on his head at the same time.

Needless to say it was hilarious.

"Well Nitro, we couldn't have asked for a better day for the first event could we?"

The other tom also put on the fake sounding commentators voice. "Of course not, the halogen lights are working in perfect sync with the sky-lights and there is absolutely no wind considering we are indoors."

The other tom cat laughed. "you're telling me! Now back to the action. Skipper is in top form today, ducking and weaving like there is no tomorrow!"

"And judging by Rico's great arm, there won't be!" Nitro chimed in.

"Ooh! It would appear that he is now climbing the crates at the back of the stage. This is a bad move for obvious reasons, but lets see if he can-"

With a final explosion the stage was awash with red…

Skipper sat up and spat out a mouthful of the liquid. "What the deuce? Who Keeps wine in crates?!"

The tom cats shared a look and nitro finally replied. "Yeeeeeah… Flare and Lark kind of have a thing against barrels…"

**MEANWHILE…**

"You've _never _had your nails done?" Flare asked, yellow eyes wide with intrigue.

Marlene shrugged. "I guess I never had the chance."

"Not even a manicure from a friend!"

The former otter looked at the colour chart. "Nope… What coulour do you thing… Seashell peach or sea-foam green?"

The former feline leaned over and jabbed at the chart. "That one! The pinky one!"

"hm… Could work."

Flare puffed her chest out. "Don't worry Marlene. I'll be your friend _and _I can do your nails!"

The hazel eyed girl turned towards the usually zoned out female and smiled. "Really?"

"You bet!" She grinned. "In fact! You can stay with Lark and me! There's heaps of space in our room! And I'm sure Christopher Wallace smith won't mind. He likes you!"

It was then Flare and Crazy flyer ran up, laughing manically and high-fiving.

"We just got thrown out of pizza-hut for asking for dominoes number!" Lark shouted.

"Bright side!" Crazy flyer chipped in, "There's a phone booth around the corner so we can _call _them instead!"

Marlene gawped. "You wouldn't!"

Lark grinned wickedly. "Is that a challenge? I don't back down from a challenge!"

Flare whined. "You have to wait for me and Marlene, our nails aren't done yet!"

Crazy-flyer flopped down on the nearest bench and groaned. "Well hurry! I don't want them to forget before we call!"

**MEANWHILE… (Are all of them like this? Or are some like 'Meanwhile…' Meh, I'm too lazy to check.)**

Rowan yawned and lent his head on Nitro's shoulder, causing the lankier tom to jump. "This is boring as hell…" He moaned. "When are they going to be done?!"

Nitro shrugged slightly, promptly leaping out of the chair and almost sprinting over. "Are you guys done?!" He asked, sounding almost panicked.

Skipper held up a flipper, not the one he was using to keep Private's beak shut, and completely blanked the cat. "Annnnnd… Done." He stated finally, momentarily releasing Private's beak only to have the youngest penguin start something that sounded suspiciously like 'I don't understand' before his beak was clamped shut again.

Skippers face was flushed. "Just finish reading. Any questions you have…" He trailed off, looking back at the fan-fiction. "Can wait until you turn 18. I'm not explaining this too you now." He turned his attention back to the injured feline and glared. "You sick, sick people."

Rowan popped up from behind his friend with a clown like grin. "That's our names, don't wear 'em out!"

Nitro paled and leapt away, one paw over his heart and face flushed a deep red. "Dude! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" He yelped.

He giggled. "Oops. Am I forgiven?" and at this he widened his eyes and brought his paws up under his chin in the feline equivalent of 'puppy dog eyes'

The toms face grew brighter and he mumbled something about 'being a manipulative bugger' and stalked off. Private slyly slipped of the chair and followed.

Rowan Hefted another paw-full of the truth dust in skippers face. "How do you feel about Private Skipper?"

The leaders tone grew mono-tonus. "He's like the little naïve brother I never had…"

The hair-dryer was back again.

Kowalski was sitting on the floor watching Skipper with almost narrowed eyes. Rico waddled over and flopped down next to him, head tipped to the side.

"I'm just monitoring Skippers responses for future reference, nothing really important." He mumbled, scribbling with his pencil.

The next words seemed to freeze the air around them. "Skipper. You _have _to tell us about Denmark."

The penguin leader rolled his eyes. "Easy. Classifi-"

"And you can't just say classified."

His face fell and his eyes flickered desperately around the room. Savio and Clemson obviously couldn't care less. The Lemurs were too busy making stabbing gestures behind Clemson's back and discussing methods to over-throw him, Kowalski and Rico looked almost pleased, Blowhole private and Nitro were no-where to be seen and that left…

His eyes shifted to Hans who looked like he had just been shot. He was frozen, eyes wide and wings stuck half-way up to his face in horror.

He sighed and sat down. "Right, gather around, because I'm only going to tell this story once and I'm only going to do it if Hans is up here was well."

The puffin looked even more shocked, If that was even possible. "You… you're serious?"

The penguin leader shrugged. "Eh. It's either that or I sit here and basically beat down on you." It was then he turned his attention to Rico. "The box if you will."

It took a minute of hurling up deadly paraphernalia before a slim box with a six numbered dial on the top was handed to the leader, who quickly turned the dial, springing the lid open.

Hans looked very surprised. "You kept it? Even after all these years?"

The penguin leader quickly pulled a photo from the box and handed it to Kowalski.

On the picture was a penguin with a distinctive flat-head, but he also had a massive grin and smiling eyes. The younger skipper had his arm thrown around the neck of a puffin, a bird with a similar smile, but haunted eyes.

"Hans was once on our team."

"WOAH! Woah… Slow down… so de bad guy, was actually de good guy?" Juilan asked.

"Yeah, basically." Skipper stated. "Well… not quite. Hans and I became quite close friends. I shared with him all my best moves, we shared a room, pissed off Johnson together… basically we were inseparable." He stopped, taking back the picture once it had been passed around the group and was slipped back into the box and locked again. "Then one day, he just vanished. All his files went missing as well. Turns out his father was the leader of a criminal ring in Denmark! He was a spy. So you know, we figured out their next move and went to Copenhagen's mines, ready to stop it. But they were ready for us. We were out-numbered and facing certain death when Manfredi started behaving like a mad-man. He started a riot and bought us some time and we were able to get a foot hold into the fight. There were bullets flying everywhere and next thing I know I'm being pressure pointed on the back of my neck and dragged down an abandoned section of the mine. Hans is there and he's raving and ranting, going on about his father-"

"My father made me spy. As his only son I was next in line to inherit the 'family business'… If I hadn't done it he would have killed me." Hans stated calmly, not meeting anyone's eyes. "That's what I was saying…"

Skipper continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "It was then things started to go down-hill. Manfredi showed up and so did Hans's father. He said something in Danish-"

"Asked me why they weren't dead yet and told me I was a failure that would be taken out back and shot if I didn't do anything."

"And then Hans shot Manfredi. His father-"

"Asked me if I was going to shoot skipper… but I couldn't do it… I was close enough to kill him for sure…"

"That was when he turned around and shot his father instead. He ran, and Johnson and I managed to get out with Manfredi not to long after. It was then the mines exploded. We saved Manfredi and then just crashed. Turns out the next day Hans had managed to make up a story that _we _had been the ones to kill his father and collapse the mines, making it a nationwide man hunt for us all."

Hans whispered. "My father had friends in high places."

"We got out alive. And that was the end of that." Skipper finished. "Now rowan WOULD YOU MIND PUTTING THAT TORCH DOWN!" He snapped.

"Meep." The cat squeaked out, clicking off the light.

Clemson stood up and yawned. "Well that was certainly dramatic and life altering."

"Wait wait wait!" Julain shouted. "I'm still a little bit confused in de head."

Maurice sighed. "About what?"

"Who is dis _hans _person?"

And the sound of the epic face-palming could be heard across the land.

**MEANWHILE…**

"I feel like we shouldn't be doing this…"

Lark grinned, "Lighten up Marlene! It's fun!"

She nodded. "Yeah… but this is the kids play-ground at mc-Donald's!"

Flare giggled. "but the slides are the best!" And with that she proceeded to belly slide down the steepest looking tube out of sight.

"I still don't know-"

"MCDONALS WORKER!" Crazy flyer shouted, promptly shoving Marlene down the nearest slide and diving in after her.

"Aww hell! The way this is going there won't be any fast-food places I'm _not _banned from!" Lark moaned, sliding after Flare.

**MEANWHILE…**

"Don't get it!" Kowalski offered as rico attempted to catch up to where the genius was at. "I thought this was torture Skipper day!"

Rowan pouted slightly. "It _was…_ but we ran out of dares."

Kowalski rolled his eyes and turned back to the computer, propping his head on his flipper. In all honesty he couldn't see what was so wrong with it… ok. Scratch that, now he could.

"Rowan!" Nitro called, walking right up behind the other tom and poking him on the shoulder with a determined expression.

The reddish-brown tom turned, dark blue eyes inquiring. "What's up?" he asked.

The determined expression faltered, then failed all together. "Er… nothing. High-five?" He offered sounding very awkward.

"Ok. I'm done." Kowalski interjected, face drawn.

"How was it?" Rowan smirked.

The scientist turned away. "I refuse to say."

Rowan rolled his eyes, mouthing 'drama-queen' before spinning the penguin around and passing him his ipod. "Just read this. It's called '_my hidden shame' _I think you'll really like it." He sniggered.

Kowalski rolled his eyes. "As long as it doesn't involve me waking up with Rico painting on my feathers I am up for anything."

Nitro shook his head. "you… poor, poor innocent penguin."

It was then the sound of laughter entered the room as Flare, Marlene and Lark strolled in, carrying a lot of bags with them.

"Helloooooo!" Lark sang as she dropped Flares arm in favour of strolling over to skipper who was talking to Private and pulling him aside.

Rowan raised an eye-brow at the ever increasing piles of bags on the floor. "What did you buy? The whole STORE?!"

Marlene shrugged. "I don't know about those two, but I had to buy a souvenir for everyone… considering Skipper and I never actually got to Disney land." She dug around in the bag for a moment before pulling out a box of band aids, a lighter and a key-chain. "Yeah… I kinda did get them all at the 2 dollar shop, but I figured no-one would mind!"

She tossed the lighter at Rico who only saluted her, swallowing his gift before turning back to his reading. Nitro laughed at the box of band aids. "Thanks for these Marlene!"

Rowan grinned at his gift. "A mirror key-chain? You know me so well!"

Skipper started maniacally laughing, turning on the electric razor in his flipper "Oh Ring-tail! Rowan!"

Marlene's nodded understandingly as the two mammals in question sprinted from the room. "I was wondering what Lark was planning to do with that…"

**One minue later…**

Rowan darted past Kowalski, picking up the penguin and racing up backstage stage with him, trying to drown out Julian's pitiful Screams of terror.

"KOWALSKI I NEED YOU TO HELP ME!" He begged.

The penguin looked started and promptly disentangled himself from the feline's clingy arms. "What do you want me to do? I can't take back a dare." He narrowed his eyes. "Also I _didn't _enjoy that story thank you. In fact… I am a little disturbed now. "

Rowan looked around wildly panicked. "Can't you make like some fur growth accelerator so all my fur will grow back?!"

"Well… it would be simple-"

"PLEASE! I CAN'T BE BALD! I DON'T LOOK GOOD BALD!"

The scientist stroked his beak thoughtfully. "Well I suppose… IF."

"If what?!" rowan asked eagerly. "Whatever it is I'll do it!"

Kowalski folded his flippers over his chest. "The fact of the matter is I don't know what _it_ is. So how about you and I just have an agreement? Let's say… you owe me. If I ever need something done, you'll do it for me. Agreed?"

"Agreed!" He yelped, shaking the penguins Flipper before running off again in search of a place to hide.

**5 minutes later…**

Julian and Rowan were curled up under some woollen blankets. Crying and mourning their beautiful lost fur.

Nitro looked faintly ill, clutching his stomach and sitting on the edge of the infirmary beds where the weeping mammals were lying. In the corner was a large pile of reddish-brown fur of two distinct shades. According to Lark who was busy, probably with some evil plot, there was tufts of grey white and black fur everywhere around the building thanks to Julian's ability to wriggle away at the last minute.

It was then Kowalski walked in, holding a small purple looking gun, that faintly resembled a hair-dryer.

"Kowalski?" Nitro asked. "What's with the invention?"

The penguin shrugged. "Let's just say I made a deal which will be beneficial to me in a future." He pointed at one of the quivering lumps. "Is that Rowan?"

A fleshy tear streaked face appeared from between the folds of the blanket. "I look like a naked mole rat!" the tom sobbed.

Kowalski puffed his chest out. "Not for much longer." He picked up a few strands of hair from the pile in the corner and fed them into the ray-gun. In response it started to hum and vibrate in his flipper. "Rowan, you may wish to stand if you want your fur back."

In under a second the tom was standing upright, twiddling his snake like tail and keeping his eyes on the floor.

There was bright flash and while Nitro and Kowalski struggled to regain their vision a loud whoop of triumph was heard. Nitro was tackled around the middle and landed with a yelp of pain on the floor as Rowan shouted. "I'M BEAUTIFUL AGAIN!"

Julian's head poked out, intrigued by the jubilant voices. The moment he saw rowan dancing around the infirmary with all his fur back on his body he instantly went to his go to words. "Uh… As de king I am also demanding de magic hair bringy-backer."

Kowalski only smirked. "Two things Juilan. One, you have nothing to offer me and two, you aren't the king anymore."

The lemur looked like he was about to explode when Flare burst through the door, a menacing grin on her face. "PAINTBALL TIME."

**One minute later…**

Now that everyone was back together again, Rowan petting himself incessantly and Julian wearing the blanket around his hairless body like a cloak, Lark stood up and clapped her paws.

When nothing changed she went back to old theories. "OI! FOCUS BEFORE I COME OVER THERE AND RIP YOUR EYES OUT!"

The room fell silent.

"Right. Welcome to extreme paintball!" She cheered. "But this is a different type of paintball than what you've ever seen. This… is VIRTUAL paintball." Suddenly everyone that looked like they were about to go run and hide became interested. "It's easy. You all have a band that rotates through seven colours. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple and black. When you get shot you die, bringing you _and _your partner from the game before dumping you right back where you arrived the first time. Every time you die you lose a colour. So when you hit black, you're on your last life. The winners are the last ones standing at the end."

Skipper rolled his eyes. "That's obviously going to be either me or my boys."

Hans glared. "Don't put anything on it you won't mind loosing."

"Uh… Slight problem." Savio interjected. "I have _no _way of firing a gun." He slithered around a little to make his point.

Lark nodded thoughtfully. "But if you sit out than someone else has to as well."

Blowhole snorted. "That will obviously be me considering I have no way of transport without my Segway."

Lark grinned. "Good. Then pick your teams and let's get into this. Flare, you're with me."

Kowalski turned to Rico and smiled. "I have to say, we know for a fact that your brute force and My intellect work like a charm."

The psychotic penguin nodded, poking him in the chest before miming shooting something.

Kowalski shrugged. "yes, I do suppose that could be helpful in this situation."

Skipper hadn't been able to take as much as a step before Julian was clinging onto his leg, shouting "DA BOSSY PENGUIN IS MINE!"

Hans raised one eye-brow. "Oh skipper… what have you gotten yourself into." He laughed.

Clemson quickly tapped the puffin on the shoulder, causing him to turn sharply. "Hoboken bffs?" the ginger lemur offered, smiling hopefully.

Hans nudged him playfully. "You say that like there's someone else I would consider going with!"

Rowan, who had come down off his ego induced high, turned to Nitro and smacked a fist into his paw. "You and I are going to win this thing!"

Nitro blinked, slightly taken aback. "Really? You want to go with me? Even after the whole phone incident?"

The tom rolled his eyes. "Nah, I'm just saying this to get your hopes up. Dork!" he snorted.

"Marlene? Will you go with me?" Private asked.

The otter looked over her shoulder at mort and Maurice before nodding frantically. "Yes. Just… yes."

**ONE MINUTE LATER… (Wow… I am so lazy!)**

Kowalski gestured sharply for Rico dart over. Both were crouched in the shadow of the tall building, breathing slow and deep as they strained their ears for the sound of any approaching teams. The bands around their upper arms both glowed red, but they had already seen mort and Maurice been taken down by flare and Lark, and then again by Hans and Clemson, leaving them on yellow.

The game zone was very cool. It resembled a post-apocalyptic city, the whole thing made up of empty buildings and dusty roads with auburn skies. Kowalski caught Rico's eye and pointed up.

Moments later they were inside the empty bottom floor of the building, the broken window making a perfect entry spot.

Kowalski sighed and clenched his paint-gun a little tighter. The worst was over now. All that was left to do was climb.

**MEANWHILE…**

Lark growled, taking deliberate and careful steps backwards, gun poised and finger twitching over the trigger. Flare was backed up against her and she could feel the faint prickle of her friends fur as her hackles rose.

She grinned, teeth flashing in the half-light. If there was one-thing that could almost counteract Flares medication it was competition.

"Ah! Ring-tail! What do you think you're doing?!"

The was the sound of scuffling from the far side of the courtyard and the females shared a knowing glance.

Julian was running around like a fool, blanket cloak tripping him up in the process. "I'm gonna find de others, and den I'm gonna smack em around a bit…"

Lark sighed. "this is so easy it's embarrassing."

The pair rolled into sight, guns both pointed on the shaved lemur as they fired. Sadly skipper had enough sense to tackle his partner behind a crumbling brick wall.

"RING-TAIL!" He hissed. "ARE YOU TRYING TO THROW AWAY LIVES?!"

"Eh… perhaps? Whats it too ya buddy?!"

Another round on behalf of the girls had them ducking again, attempting not to be smacked in the face by the yellow pellets of paint. Skipper jumped up and fired a round of his own, successfully throwing the duo off.

"Hah! What about – OW!" He yelled, craning his neck to see the slow drip of green paint down his back. "Oh what the fu-"

He and Julian then flashed out leaving Nitro and Rowan slinking off back into the shadows, loudly shouting their success.

**MEANWHILE…**

"I have to say, we aren't doing too badly Marlene!" Private whispered as they quickly sprinted across the road down an alley.

"I suppose. Argh! Fence!" She grumbled. "Give me a lift would you?"

Private nodded, putting his flippers together only to whirl around. "Oh man! Am I glad we found you guys!"

Maurice and mort stumbled back, arms up as the pair pulled out their paint guns. "No! Don't shoot! We want to form a truce!"

Marlene narrowed her eyes and pulled the trigger only to have private tilt the gun at the ground, leaving a messy purple splatter against the concrete. "Marelene. We should listen to them!"

Maurice nodded frantically. "We're dying out there! Look!" He thrust his right arm forward. "We're already on green!"

The otter carefully lowered her gun. "So?"

"So?! Isn't four better than two? Listen, we need you. We've already been shot in the side by Lark and flare, in the foot by Julian and at point-blank range by Clemson!" He explained, pointing at the Yellow, Blue and Orange rings respectively.

Mort ran forward and hugged private's side. "Please! I don't like being shooted at!" he begged, lamp-like eyes wide.

Private in turn looked at Marlene, who only sighed good-naturedly. "Yeah. I suppose four is better than two anyway."

**MEANWHILE…**

Clemson sniggered. "Did you see their Faces? They were so confused!"

"Ya. Right… now who?" Hans questioned as he twirled his gun around.

Clemson seemed to ponder this for a moment. "How about that deranged feline and her equally messed up friend?"

Hans grinned. "I'm up for it."

"YIPPIE-KI-AYE MOTHER TRUCKERS!" Rowan screamed, throwing himself over the gap between the two buildings, firing at the duo as he did.

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY LIFE!" Nitro screeched, leaping after him.

The lemur's lip curled. "I take it back, those two." And then they flashed out.

**MEANWHILE…**

Blowhole looked over at the snake. "Got any two's reptile?"

Savio rolled his eyes. "Go fish."

**MEANWHILE…**

Skipper made a quick series of movements at Julian.

The hairless lemur blinked in return.

Again the penguin repeated his instructions. Again the lemur blinked.

"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD JUST TAKE A LOOK OUT POSITION!" He screamed. That's when he saw a long bushy tail flicker past.

Julian huffed and turned away. "Don't be telling de…" He trailed off, looking faintly lost

Skipper couldn't care less at the moment, walking towards were the tail had vanished. The moment he turned the corner he was blown back by a myriad of purple and white paint pellets.

"WE DIDDED IT!" Mort cheered, jumping up and down.

"Hells yeah!" Marlene grinned. "Now what?"

Private shrugged. "We do it again I suppose."

**Meanwhile…**

Lark and Flare were silently fuming when they arrived back in the main courtyard.

"I swear to god when I get my hands on –"Skipper and Julian suddenly appeared and she shot them before she could blink. "-Whoever the hell the red team is, they won't live to see tomorrow."

"Well it isn't us!" the she-cats turned to get a face full of green paint as Nitro and Rowan let loose with rapid fire.

Julian and Skipper appeared again, and this time being ready instantly shot the first thing that moved, Being the two toms.

"Yeah! We are sure showing dem!" Julian shouted.

That's when he got a back full of red paint and they disappeared again.

**MEANWHILE…**

Savio was looking with interest at the screen. Not really paying attention to the dolphins mad rant.

"Savio? SAVIO!"

The snake jerked his head back around to face the Dr, feigning interest. "Really? That's fascinating." He lied, internally rolling his eyes.

Blowhole looked away. "Apparently less so than the game screen, What's the stats?"

The snake furrowed his brow. "Clemson and Hans are on Green, but are still doing better than Skipper and Julian who are now on blue. The other tasty morsels, Uh, I mean lemurs are on Purple. The otter's on Blue as well. "

The Doctor nodded. "What of the felines?"

"The Females are yellow, the males green and… Oh wow."

"Wow what?"

The snake blinked. "The remaining penguins… they're…"

"They're what!" the Dolphin snapped. "Don't just stand there and gawp. Tell me!"

"They haven't died once!"

**Meanwhile…**

Nitro and Rowan had taken to the roof-tops again, whooping and running madly over them, trying to get a decent shot at someone, or anyone.

"Hey… what the?" rowan came to sudden stop, sending Nitro crashing into him from behind.

Sitting up and rubbing his head Nitro glared. "What? What possessed you to do that?"

The other tom-cat looked surprised. "It's Kowalski and Rico!" He said, offering a paw to help his friend up.

"Yeah? So? Shoot them!" Nitro said.

Rowan shrugged. "Point."

Then the two toms started charging across the flat topped buildings towards the pair, firing wildly, and hitting their target.

**Meanwhile…**

Clemson nodded upwards at the open window before loudly proclaiming. "WOW! I wonder whose tail that is! Come on Hans, let's go get them!"

Private giggled slightly as mort staggered under the weight of his gun after running away from the ginger lemur. "We've got him."

"Really? Hm.. I must be blind." Instantly all their necks craned upwards just in time to see Hans's wing tighten on the trigger.

Clemson whooped loudly, high-fiving his partner as he somersaulted down from the window. "Nice one!" He beamed.

Skipper jumped from the shadows. "It's a game of stealth. Not a game of tell everyone where you are!" He yelled, shooting the ginger lemur and dive rolling away from the puffins bullets.

Julian jumped up. "Yeah! Dats what – OW!" The lemur cried as a splatter of orange paint nailed him in the chest a mere second before the other team vanished.

Skipper's face fell. "RING-TAIL!"

**MEANWHILE…**

Marlene Sprinted into the nearest building, turning to Maurice and mort as they arrived. Private quickly somersaulted into the room courtesy of the window and darted over.

"What now?" He asked. "Maurice and Mort are on their last lives!"

The pair of coloured ring covered lemurs looked up at the pair desperately. Marlene furrowed her brow, which was only made comical by the orange ring around her eye. "Well I think what we have to do is change tact. Though I don't know-"

A splatter of yellow paint appeared on her tail as Lark and Flare leapt through the window. Mort and Maurice darted behind a chair to avoid the yellow pellets of death. An outrage yelp and a boyish call of "HOWS IT FEEL BIATCH!" caused them to peer around the corner of the chair. Marlene, Private, lark and Flare were all gone, but Nitro and Rowan were standing on the busted down door high-fiving instead.

Maurice raised his paint gun, ready to shoot the reddish brown host square in the back only to get clipped on the shoulder with a splash of green as Nitro screamed and fired out of fright. The shock caused him to tighten his grip on his gun, shooting as well.

All four of them disappeared.

**MEANWHILE…**

Kowalski stopped and cursed under his breath. "I think we're lost." He grimaced. Oh the irony, a genius getting lost.

"What the-"

Instantly he and Rico turned and hit the dirt, avoiding the bullets that just narrowly skimmed their heads and fired at the two toms who were screaming odd battle cries and shooting randomly at them.

Jumping to their feet moments after the panicking hosts vanished The pair ran across the court-yard towards the nearest hollow structure. "We'll go up here and jump from roof to roof like nitro and Rowan were." Kowalski stated, sounding rather pleased with himself.

He was stopped by the orange bullet rupturing in paint all over his chest. "Or, you know, not."

**MEANWHILE…**

"We should be safe here for a little while." Skipper mused, barring the door on the second level with the table. Julian was perched on a chair, looking like nothing more than a dark green lump of yarn.

"Psh. You're telling me buddy!"

Skipper glared and turned his attention to the floor, kneeling down and starting to scribble on it with a black marker. "Right so we're here and our plan of attack is-"

"SHH!" Julian hissed. "I got one…" He was standing by the window, pointing his gun at the ground, tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration.

"SHOOT HIM!" The cry made Marlene and Private look up. Julian was leaning out one window of the right building, only to have been shot by Hans who was now leaning out the window of the left.

"Ha! Got you Skipp-" Hans shut up as a paint-pellet smacked him in the beak.

Private turned to Marlene and grabbed her paw and started running. "Great shot, Now RUN!"

**MEANWHILE…**

Lark waved her paw, a quick signal to-

The blistering pain of paint smacked her in the back. It was red paint to match the numerous red rings already there.

"REALLY!? FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

**MEANWHILE…**

The loud voices startled the four playing their card-games and they all turned sharply to see Marlene and Private laughing crazily.

Maurice cocked one eye-brow and put his cards down on table. "You two out as well?" He asked.

Private nodded, giggling still. "Yes, but oh you should have seen it. We're running from Nitro and Rowan when we run _right _into lark and flare who only wound up shooting Nitro and Rowan. It was so silly! But then Clemson and Hans got us from behind."

Marlene dropped her gun heavily. "That game is really tiring. Anybody have anything to drink?"

Savio pointed his tail over his shoulder. "There's a sink with glasses just through there."

Private tilted his head to look at what had the snake so intrigued. "Oh! Is this what lives people are on?" He asked.

Maurice nodded. "Yup. Looks like everyone is on black apart from Lark and flare and Kowalski and rico."

"Hehehe! Your eye is funny looking!" Mort giggled, tapping incessantly on the red glass of the evil dolphin's mechanical eye.

Savio chuckled. "Don't tap the glass, they hate it when you do that."

Blowhole glared. "Always the comedian."

**MEANWHILE…**

"Julian! I need you to focus right now!" Skipper snapped. "If we lose this game to Hans he is going to make my life _miserable! _And that is on top of being stuck at a truth or dare show, with you!"

"Well Bossy penguin… dis is being _your _problem. Not mine." The bald lemur snorted, "What even made you think dat I would care?" He laughed. "I _never _care!"

Skipper smirked slyly. "Well then ok. If you're fine with losing to Clemson…"

The lemurs gaze turned hard and one eye twitched. "losing? *Twitch, twich* To _HIM_?! Oh it's on now!" He shouted.

**MEANWHILE…**

Lark and Flare stood poised on a corner, guns ready to fire at anyone who dared to come around the bend.

There was loud banging sound above them. Then a scuffling. Both looked up at the roof of the tunnel there were crouched in. With a final scrape a loud thud echoed from behind them and they whirled around to be faced with…

A cinder-block.

Larks brow furrowed. "What the fu-"

"HI GIRLS!"

A round of paint was fired at their backs, absolutely covering them in green paint.

"Very funny." Flare mumbled. "Such jokers."

Nitro and rowan stopped firing after they were gone and cheered wildly.

"We did it!" Nitro shouted. "They're on black! They're on their last life!"

"Three cheers!" Rowan howled. "Hip-Hip Ho-"

"OW!" Nitro yelped. Dropping his gun and putting a paw on his back, bringing it back covered in red paint.

Rowan's face fell. "you're kidd-"

And then there was four.

**MEANWHILE…**

"And… Now!"

Clemson jumped up and pulled the trigger. On the roof opposite Kowalski fell over, then both him and Rico disappeared.

"Nice shot." Hans complimented.

Clemson pressed a paw against his chest as if he were flattered. "I try." He gushed.

It was the Shifting of pebbles that alerted them, the sound loud and menacing when coming from behind. Both turned sharply, drawing their weapons and firing. Blue and Orange was everywhere and for a second both teams froze and they studied the paint on their bodies.

"WE GOT YOU FIRST!" Skipper shouted!

Hans glared. "NO WAY! WE HAD YOU!"

**MEANWHILE…**

Lark was crouched on the neighbouring roof. Looking at the two penguins sitting side-by-side on the edge of their building she felt her mouth twitch into a satisfied grin.

"Let's finish this." She snarled, the faltered. "And then we'll finish it again afterwards, but you know!"

Flare smirked and darted over the gaps between the roofs, Lark hot on her heels as they sprinted onto the grey concrete and pulled the trigger…

Only to feel the slow drip of paint on the backs of their necks as the decoy stuffed animals fell over.

Lark span around to face the smug looking penguins, fists clenched and looking like she was boarder lining on exploding. "SERIOSULY! AGAIN! NOW!"

A strange cartoon voice piped up. "AND THE WINNER IS… RED TEAM!"

Skipper grinned turning and laughing at a certain puffin. "HA! Told you it was going to be either me or my boys!"

"Shut up. No one cares, ok!?"

**Two minutes later…**

"I am exhausted…" Nitro moaned, slumping against the table.

Rowan pouted. "Naw… Does the wickle baby need to go nappy-bies?"

He promptly shut up when a vase was thrown.

Lark yawned and stretched, knocking nitro onto the floor accidentally. "Then why the hell are we still here… the bed-rooms are upstairs!" and with that stalked out of the room.

Rowan kicked Nitro in the ribs. "Wake up lazy ass. We need to show every one where their rooms are." He urged.

"Just five more minutes…" He mumbled.

"Flare? Do you still have that mega-phon-"

"I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAKE!" the grey spotted cat announced, jerking his head up, only to smack it against the bottom of the chair it was under. "Mother Fu… nner." He cursed, stumbling to his feet.

Flare darted over to Marlene and started towing her upstairs. "Come on! I want to get up there before Lark falls a asleep and tried to kill us when we wake her!"

The otters face paled. "What?"

Nitro sighed. "I hate stairs." He mumbled, leaning against the wall. "I _know _it would do me more good to climb the stairs… but I just _can't _be bothered."

"Well hurry up!" Skipper shouted, throwing his flippers up in exasperation.

"DON'T PUSH ME! I'M ON THE FRICKING EDGE HERE MAN!" Nitro screamed, turning to stare down at the penguin.

His voice was cool when he spoke, eyes hard. "You're going to fight me?"

"… No sir." He mumbled meekly, turning and sprinting up the stairs.

"Right. Kowalski and Rico's room on the right in room A, Skipper and Private's is B on the lef…"

He trailed of as skipper piped up again. "Are you saying we don't get to share a ro-"

"Do you have a complaint?" Rowan asked, cocking one eye-brow curiously.

"Yes I do-"

"EEEEERRRRRR!" Rowan shouted, sounding a heck of a lot like a _really _annoying buzzer. "Wrong answer. Nobody here gives a sh… erlock homes."

"But-"

Rowan pushed Private into his leader and sent them both tumbling into their room. "LIGHTS OUT! NOW SHUDDUP AND SLEEP."

Kowalski and Rico, sharing a look of 'oh god.' Went quietly, saving an incident.

"Mort, Maurice, Julian, you're all in room C here-"

"SO THEY GET TO SHARE, BUT ME AND MY ME-"

Skipper promptly shut up when Nitro threw another vase.

Rowan narrowed his eyes. "Where the hell do you keep getting all those vases?"

Nitro gave him a menacing look. Well as menacing as you can be when you're about to pass out of exhaustion. Really all you get is 'angry stoner' but whatever. "If you don't keep walking you're going to find out first hand." He growled.

Rowan nodded and promptly kept going. "Savio and Clemson in room D, Hans and Blowhole in room E."

Aside from faint grumbles and a half-hearted barb from Hans that really made no sense there wasn't any protest.

Nitro slammed into their bed-room door and collapsed on the nearest bed.

Rowan stared blankly for a minute. "Dude… that's my bed."

"I don't care… too tired to GAF."

"Moooooove." The reddish-brown tom whined. "Or I'll just get fed up and sleep in my bed regardless if you're there or not."

The spotted tom froze, muscles tightening. At the sound of the first foot step he bolted for his own bed and dove under the green cover.

"Jeez you're weird. But I love ya anyway." He laughed, tuning off the light and climbing into his own bed.

When Nitro replied his voice was weaker than it had been in weeks. "I love you too… bro."

**THREE HOURS LATER…**

The door burst open and an angry looking pair of tom cats barged in.

"SHUT YOU'RE TRAPS!" Rowan screeched. "SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!"

Clemson looked slightly taken aback and Savio only rolled his eyes.

Nitro's eyes narrowed. "Savio? Do you _want _me to call Chey?!"

The snake froze. "No! Please don't! She'll ground me!"

"Then shaddup before I throw another vase." Nitro snapped, walking out of the room again leaving the Hobokeners in pitch black again.

"Chey, really? Threating to call her is what gets you to shut-"

"Zip your mouth before I come over there and _eat _you."

"… you wound't."

"Are you willing to risk it?"

"… no. I suppose not."

**One minute later.**

Rowans horrified yell echoed around the building. "HE HAS TO WHAT?!"

"YES! DR. BLOWHOLE IS GOING TO BE SPEAKING IN THE VOICE OVER ALL EPISODE! NOW SUCK IT UP BEFORE I RAMM YOU DOWN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL!" Lark screeched in reply.

"NOW LOOK WHOSE MAKING ALL THE NOISE!"

"DON'T PUSH ME SAVIO! YOU KNOW I'LL CALL HER IF I HAVE TOO!"

And then there was the sound of a breaking vase.

_**THE-END! (Of this chapter… not the truth or dare.)**_

_A fuzzy looking camera focus comes in to reveal a very tired looking teenager with hair that looks like she got into a fight with some hairspray and various combs. She chuckles awkwardly and waves. _

"_Uh… Sup! I suppose… Anyway, happy hallows eve! And I say that because 1) it's Halloween soon and 2) to most of you it will appear as if this story has come back from the dead…" she rubs the back of her neck and looks away from the camera. "Well… yeah, it ddin't die… it's just… GAWD DAMNIT! This chapter is 49 pages on word and It took me three days to write __half__ of it when I wrote continuously… but I suppose I had it coming when I slacked off last chapter… of well."_

_She smiles a little and starts counting off on her fingers. "Super Big thank you to Cheycartoongirl, Crazy Flyer 3000, TheSkySpiritsTalentShow, Toon92, Ocean3290 and Crazy-pairing-girl for reviewing! It means a lot to me! Hope you all enjoyed it! Bye!" _

_And then the screen cut out._


End file.
